Ashes and Dust
by ILove2Write13
Summary: "Posy Hawthorne!" My eyes flew open, and Gale's eyes met mine in horror. I couldn't sit by and watch my sister in everything but blood get reaped. I couldn't watch Gale's face as he saw his baby sister be killed brutally. I couldn't watch her die. "Posy! Posy, no! I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" The 74th Hunger Games with a twist.
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT NOTE:**

**Katniss had healer training. Now that she is sixteen and Prim is twelve, she wants to make sure she has every advantage if she had to volunteer for her sister. **

**The problem is that (my edit) Posy is the same age as Prim, and Katniss see's her as another little sister. So when Posy get's reaped into the games, Katniss volunteers. **

* * *

_You don't pick your true family._

_-Unknown_

* * *

Silence.

Dead silence.

Slowly, oh so slowly, I pulled the arrow back, my eyes narrowed in concentration.

The young buck, horns just growing in, was gracefully walking through the meadow, stopping once or twice to sniff at grass, chew, and then move on.

Tracking him with the arrow, I moved the slightest millimeter to the right, keeping him in my range.

Taking a deep breath to keep my heart steady, I released the arrow, and watched as is flew straight and true, hitting the buck right in the eye, killing it on impact.

I couldn't believe it for a moment.

I had done it! I had taken down a deer!

Resisting the urge to jump up and down with glee, I hurried through the trees, kneeling down beside the deer that lay majestically on its side.

"Nice shot Catnip."

I shot an irritated glare over her shoulder, Gale leaning against the tree like he had materialized out of thin air.

"Thanks. Come on, let's bring him straight to Ruba. I don't want a repeat of what happened last year."

Gale winced a little, seeming to remember when we went into the Hob and everyone swarmed us when they saw we had a deer.

It was safer to go to the town butcher, a thick woman named Ruba, who gave you one price and one price only, with a couple of venison steaks thrown in for us.

We would even get something for the pelt, it being in perfect condition.

Gale reached down and with enviable ease, plucked the arrow out of the eye and handed it to me, smiling a little at my wince of disgust as I wiped the blood off on the grass.

"Come on, how can that bother you and healer training doesn't?"

I rolled my eyes. Gale knew well that 'healer training' didn't sit well with me.

It was just I was so terrified of being in the games, I had asked my mother to teach me what she had known. It was nothing like the training the Career's had in the other Districts, but it was the best I could do.

Truth be told, it helped our relationship mend a little. I'm glad for it; I didn't like being mad at her all the time. Although a part of me would always be a little resentful at her abandonment when our father died, I needed to learn and accept what happened. Prim had taught me that.

Gale had gotten upset when I had told him what I was planning. Gale always got upset when it came to the Games, and the Capitol in general. I was thankful he did his ranting in the forests, where his curses wouldn't get him arrested or shot.

It was late afternoon now, and we hurried back before it got dark, making sure to empty our snares before we crossed the fence.

Gale went to Ruba, while I went in and traded the two squirrels I had caught and the two rabbits that Gale had found in his snares.

When the trading was going on, I tapped my foot impatiently, just wanting to get out of there.

Some of the patrons gave me sad looks. I assumed it was because they knew about my little sister being in the Reapings now, along with Gale's little sister, who was just as important to me.

Everybody loved Prim and Posy. They were the only two girls who could make even the drunkard Haymitch smile.

Grabbing my things, I hurried out of the Hob, careful to move through the back streets until I reached my house, Gale's right next to it.

Gale was waiting, a proud smile on his face. He held up a small bag, filled with more money than I had ever seen at one time.

I handed him his trade and he handed me my share of the money.

"What are you going to do with it?"

I shrugged, pocketing it, leaning against the wall with him.

"I don't know. Maybe buy a cookie for Prim after the reapings tomorrow. I know she's terrified."

Gale didn't look at me, but I saw his frown.

"Why don't you every get anything for yourself?"

For a moment, I thought he was joking. He of all people should know what it was like to have people depending on you for food and money, and just how quickly it ran out. He had to hunt and gather twice as much as I did because he had two little brothers and Posy and his mother; I just had Prim and my mother.

I didn't even answer him, instead brushing a hand over his shoulder as I walked into the house, no goodbye needing to be said.

Prim was sitting, dragging an old and ragged piece of yarn back and forth for her cat, Buttercup.

The stupid thing hissed at me, and I held back a glare.

If I had it my way, I would have thrown the thing away, but Prim loved him from the moment she saw him. He was lucky Prim did, or back out onto the streets he would have gone.

"Katniss! How was hunting?"

I smiled and held up the bag. Prim's eyes widened, and she smiled such a wide smile I thought her cheeks were going to crack.

"Oh my gosh! What did you catch?"

"A perfect deer."

Prim turned a little green at the thought, but she kept a smile on her face.

I changed the subject then.

"Where's Mom?"

Prim looked over her shoulder and pointed to the back room, which we had converted from an old closet to a store room for our clothes, food, and Mom's medical supplies.

I quickly crossed our small house to the small door, and slipped inside.

The smell of leather, herbs, and cotton surrounded me and I took in a deep breath.

Mom was crouched down, carefully arranging some glass vials. She looked up when I walked in the room, eyes catching the light from the fireplace.

Mom and I had had a tenuous relationship, but it was getting better with our healer training bonding. When my father died in a mining accident, the same one that killed Gale's father, she had retreated into a depression. The only thing that had saved Prim and I had been Peeta Mellark, the bakers son. When I had been on the brink of giving up, he had thrown me some burnt bread.

I am normally not that good with people; but I hate being in debt to someone. To go up to him and thank him, with the divide between the Town kids and the Seam…I just couldn't. Prim helped me thank him though.

She and I left paint made from berries in his locker; he loved to paint, that I knew, from the decorated cakes he did.

Later, we saw a cake with primroses and katniss flowers, so I assumed he knew it was us.

Prim was convinced that Peeta likes me. I didn't know why, but the thought of it made me feel like my stomach was turning inside out.

I had once bought it up with Gale, but then he had gotten a weird look on his face, and had refused to speak to me for the rest of the day.

Guys were too complicated.

* * *

The next day dawned beautiful.

Prim wasn't in bed with me, so I assumed she crawled into bed with mother. Nightmares must have woken her up.

That damn cat, Buttercup, was awake, curled up in a ball and glaring at me.

Slowly, I slid out of bed, quickly dressing in tight pants and Dad's hunting jacket. Even if it was Reaping day, Gale and I still had to hunt if we wanted to eat later today.

On the table, underneath a wooden bowl to keep cats and critters alike away, was a small square of goats cheese, wrapped in basil leaves.

I turned back and kissed Prim's forehead, a quiet thanks for the thought that she had put into the small parcel of food.

Quickly, I darted through the Seam. Most of the men were sleeping. This was the one day beside Christmas that they got off, so most of them were sleeping.

The thought of Gale being one of them next year, buried underneath rubble and coal, made me feel like throwing up.

The fence wasn't electrified, so I ducked through, running through the trees to the hollowed out one where Gale and I stored our bows, and to the fallen log where I stored my arrows.

This time, I heard Gale sneaking up behind me, so I decided to play along with him.

In the blink of an eye, I had a fletched arrow drawn and pointed at him.

Gale laughed, raising his hands in the air in surrender.

"You're getting better."

I smiled a little, before lowering the arrow.

He moved in a flurry, punching out quickly, but I ducked, swiping my bow by his feet, knocking him down, before rolling over, tucking my legs on either side of his hips, using my arrow to hold against his throat in a mock gesture of a knife.

This time, Gale really did surrender, his hands at either side of his head.

I realized then what position we were in, me straddling his hips, leaning over him to press the arrow to his throat.

I refused to blush in front of him, so I rolled off of him, before hauling him to his feet.

"You are getting better at anticipating attacks."

"And you are getting better at admitting defeat."

Gale rolled his eyes. The first time I had pinned him, he had been convinced it was beginners luck, which then lead to a wrestling match that lasted most of the afternoon; we hadn't gotten much hunting done that day.

"Move your lazy ass. I have some cheese from Prim, and you need to actually get something if you want it."

"Will this count?"

He reached into his bag, and pulled out a small loaf of bread that he had obviously gotten from the bakery, since it was made out of real flour, and not the chunky, bitter stuff we had.

"Is it real?"

Gale snorted, walking with me slowly to the large hill, almost a mountain, that overlooked a valley.

"It better be. It cost me a squirrel. I think the man was feeling sorry for us today, because he gave me a thicker one than normal."

I wasn't about to complain.

After a quick hour of hunting and gathering, in which we got a squirrel and a rabbit and about three fish, I grabbed some berries from the bush we had found and met Gale, who was laying in the sun.

With practiced movement, he cut the bread into two thick slices, spreading some cheese on each of them, laying a basil leaf on each slice.

"Good enough for a Capitol Citizen, huh?"

The way Gale said it made it sound more like an insult than a compliment, but I just let it go.

I picked up a small berry, chucked it in the air, and said in the awful Capitol accent, "And may the odds,"

Gale leaned back, catching the berry in his mouth, finishing with flourish, "Be ever in your favor!"

I leaned back, letting the sun warm my face and my hair that was a little damp from my fishing excursion.

The first warning bell came too soon.

Gale groaned, hauling himself up and helping me gather up everything.

"We could do it you know. Run away, live in the woods. You and I, we would make it."

I raised my eyebrow at him, surprised he was even thinking about it.

"I have Prim, and you have your brothers and Posy."

Gale sighed, throwing the game bag over his shoulder.

"I know. But we could bring them with us!"

"Prim in the woods?"

"Fair point."

But even though I would never leave Prim behind, I would rather die, the thought of running away with Gale made my stomach turn, and not in a bad way.

* * *

Prim was shaking next to me, her small, soft hand against my calloused one.

On my other side, Posy slipped her hand into mine, shaking just as much as Prim.

Posy looked different than most of the girls in the Seam, and that was coming from me, with a blond sister.

Gale and I both shared the black hair that was common here, and Rory and Vick had brown hair almost as dark as ours. We all had pale gray eyes, which were very common in the Seam.

Posy had thick red hair, so curly that it puffed up around her face like a cloud. Her eyes were pale green, out of place on her pale, cherub like face.

"Come on guys. Just stay here for a little while and everything will be OK. I promise you, you won't go into the Games. Your names are only in there once, they aren't going to pick you."

Gale and I had gone through so much to make sure that they wouldn't have to go in.

Gale was possibly going in. He had to take out so many tesseraes, his name was in there 42 times.

He just had to make it through this last one…then he would be free from the Games. I would talk him into not going into the mines, and everything will be OK.

Thinking of him, I cast a look around while Posy, Prim and I signed in, and I saw him in the front, stiff backed and hands in fists by his side.

Posy tugged on my hand, I crouched down to look into her scared eyes.

"Is Gale going to go into the games?"

My heart clenched in my chest, and I felt my throat close up a little.

I didn't want to make any false promises to her, not when the odds were _not_ in our favor.

"I hope not Posy."

Not the best reassurance she needed, but it was better than nothing.

Once everyone was in line, the youngest to the back, the oldest to the front, boys on the left, girls on the right, Effie Trinket, the District 12 escort, came tottering out on heels that were as tall as carrots.

"Welcome, welcome! Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds, be ever in your favor!"

As if the Capitol thought it wasn't enough to kill of children, they made the districts treat it like it was a celebration.

I kept the anger in though; Gale didn't; the scowl on his face showed it all. There was no use, the Capitol would just hurt us more.

"Ladies first!"

Effie tottered over to the big glass bowl that was full of names.

I closed my eyes, and prayed that it wasn't me, or Prim, or -

"Posy Hawthorne!"

My eyes flew open, and Gale's eyes met mine in horror.

Posy, sweet, innocent Posy, walked through the hoards of people, her small head not even clearing the elbows of some of the older teens.

Posy wouldn't last a minute in the games, not when Career's from District One and Two have been training their whole lives for it, who would throw spears that weighed more than she did.

I couldn't sit by and watch my sister in everything but blood get reaped.

I couldn't watch Gale's face as he saw his baby sister be killed brutally. I couldn't watch her die.

The air swooped back into my lungs, and I sprinted through the crowd, the others making room for me.

"Posy! Posy, no!"

I broke through the lines, pushing Posy behind me as she walked by, not even thinking of anything but saving her.

Fear had nothing on the feeling of standing before my death. But I would not let them take Posy, or Prim. No one in my family would die, not when I had a say in it.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!"

* * *

**I am really getting in over my head with my stories...Oh well, who cares?**

**If I get a good amount of reviews, I'll continue this, but seeing as how my other stories are kinda falling short, I might end up deleting this. So please drop a line if you like!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: (Goes for whole story) I own nothing you recognize. Everything here belongs to Suzanne Collins and their respective singers, songwriters, quotation-er, etc. **

* * *

_"The saddest love is to love someone, and to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them."_

_-Unknown_

* * *

I honestly thought that Effie Trinket would go into an epileptic fit, she was so excited.

"Come on up here then young lady!"

Posy wrapped her arms around my waist so tightly I couldn't move.

"No, Katniss, you can't go!"

I crouched down and grabbed her face, making her look at me through her tear filled eyes.

"Posy, go find Gale. Everything will be fine, I promise, I'm so sorry-"

Posy was yanked away from me then by a Peacekeeper, and then Gale was right there, like he had been pulled from midair.

"Let go of them."

His voice was so dangerous, _I_ flinched a little, and I have known Gale for years.

My arm was let free, but I was still pushed up to the stage before I could say anything else to Gale or Posy.

I was ushered up to the stage, lights blinding my eyes and a microphone shoved in my face.

"What's your name?"

"Katniss Everdeen."

I could see clearly in her eyes she was dying to ask questions, but she needed to get on with the reapings.

"Let's have a round of applause for District Twelve's very first volunteer, Katniss Everdeen!"

The crowd, to their credit, didn't clap. Mom and Mrs. Hawthorne stared at me in horror and fear, their eyes glassy with tears.

My eyes caught Peeta Mellark's, of all people, and he raised his three fingers to his lips and raised them up in the air.

Slowly, everyone in the crowd followed his example, even the littlest kids who had no idea of the significance. Haymitch, the lone drunk victor, even looked at me soberly and saluted.

It was a way of honoring loved ones when they died, it was goodbye, it was I love you, it was respect.

I fought hard to keep my composure, adopting a look of complete and utter boredom that I had perfected when I was fourteen.

Effie knew she was losing her crowd, so she shrugged and trilled into the microphone, "And now, for the boys!"

Her clawed hand dipped back into the bucket, and yanked out a small slip of paper with flourish.

I didn't have a second to wish for the safety of Gale when she called out a name.

The _one name_ I didn't want to be called.

"Gale Hawthorne!"

Shocked muttering from the others. If I hadn't volunteered, Posy would have been competing in the arena against her _brother_.

I would have lost Gale forever; he would never have let himself come out of the arena if Posy had been in there.

Gale still had Posy clinging to him, and her wails were echoing across the town square, like her little heart was breaking.

Eventually, Rory was able to break through the lines to hold his sister while Gale mounted the steps, eyes hard as flint and muscles all tensed and puffed out, like a cat who was trying to make themselves look bigger.

Effie, totally oblivious (or just stupid) tottered over to the microphones.

"This is exciting! Any volunteers?"

I could _feel _the shame radiating off of those people. They didn't want to send us away, the two hunters who bought a little rebellion and meat to the district, but they didn't want to die either.

"Our tributes then, from District Twelve!"

Gale turned to me, this time with the smallest hint of humor in his eyes.

I reached out and shook his hand, his callouses as familiar to my hand as my own, the length and width of his fingers practically swallowing mine.

He shocked me when he pulled me into a hug, burying his face into my hair for a quick moment.

"We're going to give them hell Katniss." He muttered in my ear, quiet enough so that even the most sensitive microphones couldn't pick it up. It wasn't even a whisper, more like his lips moving across the skin on my neck, spelling out a secret message through my blood.

I shivered a little, pulling away when Effie screeched,

"Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be _ever_ in your favor!"

* * *

After being thrown into a room with the plushest furniture I have ever seen, I was forced to wait for visitors.

I wished that Gale had been put in the same room as me.

Prim came flying into the room first, tears streaming down her face, Mom right behind her.

I grabbed her in a tight hug, closing my eyes and just hugging her.

_I'm so sorry Prim. I'm so, so sorry._

"You have to come home Katniss…please…you're supposed to marry Ga-a boy and have kids and make me an auntie and..and…you have to come home!"

I didn't want to lie to her; I didn't want to give her false hope when she would see me die on TV. I didn't want Prim to know I had no intention of coming home, not when Gale was going into the Games with me.

"I'll try Prim."

My lie was transparent, but she didn't say anything.

Mom walked slowly over to me, and no words were said before she wrapped me in a hug.

"You can't tune out Mom…please don't leave her, please don't…no matter what you see, don't leave again."

"I won't."

The three of us were all wrapped in each other until the Peacekeepers came in and dragged us out.

Prim's back was straight, even though she was crying, and Mom's eyes were alert and clear. I was so proud of them.

The door slammed shut, and I was alone again for three more minutes, and then in slipped Madge.

Madge was the only daughter of the mayor, and probably the only girl who I was friends with in school.

She was normally shunned by the Seam kids because she was a Townie, and the Townie kids shunned her because she was the Mayor's daughter. She and I kind of clicked, so we paired together for projects and sat together for lunch.

Madge was quiet, so it surprised me when she started talking in a quick, furious tone.

"You're allowed to wear a token from your district. Will you wear this?"

In her hand was a small, gold, pin. The bird was a mockingjay, it's wingtips and beak the only thing that held it to the rim of the pin.

"It was my Aunt Maysilee's. Please wear it in the games…and come home, OK?"

I bit my lip and nodded, trying to keep the lump in my throat from getting any bigger.

She kissed my cheek and gave me a quick hug, her perfume enveloping me in a soft cloud before turning and darting out the room.

The next person to visit me was a complete shock.

The baker, Mr. Mellark, walked into the room, head bowed, shoulders curved and hands in his pockets.

There was awkward silence there for a while, but then he blurted out, "I won't let them starve. I'll make sure they're eating."

Although I wasn't a big fan of charity, I knew I had to swallow my pride for Mom and Prim.

"Thank you."

We sat in silence for another two minutes before he was escorted out.

If Mr. Mellark had surprised me, I almost fell out of the chair when I saw who walked in.

Peeta Mellark, his youngest son.

Suddenly, I was eleven years old again, starving to death while Prim and Mom were at home, reeling and grieving from our father's death. I was behind the baker's shop, the rain icy and hard against my back. I was so close to giving up, to letting death creep up on me.

Peeta Mellark had thrown me the bread that had saved my family's life.

Now he stood there awkwardly, still dressed in his reaping clothing; a pair of dark black pants and a white shirt stretched taught around his shoulders, muscled up from the work he had to do, throwing around all those bags of flour and lifting heavy trays.

"Hey."

"Hi."

There was more awkward silence.

Then he spoke again.

"I'm not going to lie to you Katniss. Not when I know you're not going to to come home; you're not going to _want_ to come home. You're going to want him to come home."

I didn't say anything.

"I just wanted to tell you that I…that I liked you, um, for a while..and that your sister and your mother will be looked after. I promise."

With that, he turned and walked out of the room.

I stood there in shock, not even able to process everything that he said.

Since when did the Baker's son like me? Prim was right? Was that why he had thrown the bread to me all those years ago? Had he burned it on purpose, risking the beating, just to send it to some Seam child?

Was that what Gale didn't like about Peeta? Did he not like that Peeta liked me?

Why the hell did Peeta see the need to tell me this _now?_

_Now is not the time to be thinking about it._ I chided myself, trying to push blue eyes and blond hair out of my head until this whole mess was over with.

One thing he was right about though.

I was not coming home.

* * *

**Show of hands, how many of you DID see that coming? :) This was more of a filler chapter, but thank you so much for the reviews! Please keep them coming!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tracey:** "When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that ... "  
**Zoe:** " ... you find someone to carry you."

* * *

No one spoke on the way to the train.

Well, Effie did, but it was more like the chirping of a bird, only higher and not as pleasant.

Gale didn't say anything about who had come to visit him, but he had hidden something underneath the collar of his shirt when he came out of the room.

The train was a small, compact thing, bright silver and almost humming with energy.

Gale went in first, and I could tell by the set of his shoulders how tense he was.

The inside was decorated the same way the visiting room was; lots of plush fabrics, crystals hanging down, throwing rainbows from the light of the windows.

Effie tottered in again, and this time I forced myself to listen to her.

"Now, go wash up a little before dinner!"

Effie grabbed my arm in a surprisingly strong grip, hurrying me through the halls and into a room done in a cream color. Instantly, I felt dirty just by standing.

When Effie shut the door behind her, I went into the bathroom and washed up, a little confused at the array of buttons in the bathtub.

All dry, I dressed in the pant and tunic set that had been laid out for me, pinning my token on it before pulling on my boots and walking out.

Gale had been walking out of his room at the same time, his hair damp and sticking to his forehead. Wet, it was darker than pitch and glinted a little blue.

Our eyes met, and for a moment, I couldn't breath.

The moment was ruined of course, when Effie came tottering in again, saying, "Good! Now come eat!"

The food was laid out, an impressive spread.

Gale and I ate better than a large portion of the Seam, and probably most of District 12, being hunters. But I could count the number of times on one hand how many times I had gone to sleep completely, utterly full.

What would it be like, to have all this food at the push of a button?

"Dig in, dig in!"

Gale and I fell on the food like ravenous dogs, but I did manage to stop and use my fork and knife.

"Well, at least _one _of you has table manners."

Gale's glare would have felled a lesser man.

I threw my cutlery down on the table, and proceeded to eat the rest of the meal with my hands, and ended it with wiping my fingers on the table cloth.

Effie pursed her lips, but it was worth it to see the small sparkle in Gale's eyes.

After that, we were ushered into yet another room to watch the re-cap of the reapings in the other Districts.

It was the same of all the other years; beautiful, deadly, strong tributes from Districts One and Two, but this year was a scrawny boy from District Four. It was always a toss up with them.

A sly looking girl from District Five, a boy with a crippled foot from District Ten, and most hauntingly, a small girl from District Eleven.

She couldn't have been more than twelve years old. If I stood next to her, she might have come up to just below my rib cage; if she stood next to Gale, her head just might _maybe_ clear his hip. She was posed on her toes, with her hands splayed to the side like a bird about to take off.

Gale tensed up next to me on the couch, the heat of his body making the hairs of my arm stand up.

Effie, of course, saw nothing wrong with everything we were watching.

"Well, it's been an exciting day, and there is going to be even more excitement tomorrow! Go to sleep now!"

Gale and I didn't look at her as we both excited the room as quickly as we could without outright running.

It was the first time was had been alone since yesterday.

His eyes met mine, and I could read him just as easily as I could when we were younger.

Stoic as always, Gale didn't speak, just reached hand out and touched my shoulder. All the tension that had been building up slowly left me, and I placed my hand on top of his hand.

Once again, our little quiet bubble was interrupted when a very drunk Haymitch stumbled into the hallway and slurred, "Did I miss everything?" And then proceeded to throw up on the floor.

* * *

"Up, up, up!"

I groaned and tried to roll further into my pillows, but they moved and laughed a little.

"Come on Catnip, time to rise to the occasion."

"I hate you."

"Come on. Get up."

"I _really _hate you."

Gale laughed a little and rolled away from me.

After we had dragged Haymitch into his room and let the Peacekeepers wash him up (from the looks on their faces, it wasn't the first time they had the honor of doing that) we had headed out to the main room to sip warm milk and play card games. I guess we fell asleep out there, because now my head was pillowed on Gale's side and he was sprawled out over the whole thing.

I peeled a card off my face and rubbed what I was sure was going to be an attractive looking imprint.

Haymitch was up, and his eyes were full of bitter amusement and scorn as he looked at us. I felt my face heat up with embarrassment and shame at being caught in such a position.

"It will do no good to be close. Try fighting. Make's dying on each other so much easier."

Wasn't he the one who was supposed to be the one giving us advice on how to stay alive?

Clearly on the same wavelength as I was, Gale hissed, "Well, you're our mentor. Mentor us."

Haymitch laughed sardonically, mixing himself something with a flask and some bright colored liquid that was on the table.

"Want some advice? Stay alive."

Fury ripped through me and I hissed as well, "Very funny."

Moving with practiced ease of play fighting with Gale, I smacked the glass out of Haymitch's hand.

"But not to us."

Haymitch stared at his empty hand and then at my face in objective assessment before raising his hand to hit me back.

I tensed, prepared to duck or deflect his punch, but Gale beat me to it.

Taking the hit to himself, he kicked out and pushed the chair Haymitch was in until it slammed against the wall, smashing Haymitch's head with it.

Before he could get up to move at us, I pulled a knife from the table and drove it down between Haymitch's legs, looking up so I was staring right into his eyes.

Haymitch scanned us, his mouth quirking up a little in the corners.

"Well, did I actually get a pair of fighters this year?"

Now that we got his attention, Gale relaxed a little, and I moved out of my crouch, pulling the knife with me.

"Can you hit anything else other than a chair with that knife?"

Knowing this was my opportunity to make an impression, I balanced it in my hand before throwing it at the wall, hoping to get a good, solid stick. It actually managed to lodge in-between two panels, making me look better than I actually was.

Haymitch nodded approvingly, motioning for Gale and I to stand together.

He walked around, poking us, looking at our faces.

"Well, you two are both fit enough...and you will be attractive, more than attractive, when your stylists get through with you…so just don't interfere with my drinking and I'll stay sober enough - where did you get that?"

I looked down at my chest and saw the pin Madge had given me.

"My friend Madge gave it to me. It's my token."

Instead of making a crack about me having friends or something along that line, Haymitch looked sad, like he was remembering something he didn't want to think about.

"Well, keep it on. Keep it safe. And I'll help you. Just don't…interfere with my drinking."

Effie chose that moment to come back into the room, and screamed when she saw what a mess we had made of it.

"What where you _barbarians_ doing?!"

Ignoring her, Haymitch reached down for the flask he had dropped, and slipped it back into his pocket.

"Don't argue with your stylists, just go along with what they want. I'll be there, and we'll plan after the Opening Ceremonies."

He was gone before Gale or I could say anything.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Honestly, you have taken me by complete surprise. **

**Someone had said in a review that this story line seems a little overdone; I agree. And while I cannot say these first couple of chapters won't seem generic or repetitive (we do have to get the nitty gritty details down before delving more into them) there ARE going to be some twists, and there ARE going to be some (hopefully) unique aspects! **

**I am going to be in the middle of exam week hell, so please be patient with me. Also, please keep reviewing, it makes my day!**

**P.S. Anyone who gets the quote at the top get's free virtual cookies. THEY CAN'T TAKE THE SKY FROM US!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional._

_-M. Kathleen Casey_

**Chapter Soundtrack**: My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light Em Up) - Fall Out Boy

* * *

Haymitch, however, had failed to mention that we would be going through several rounds of torture.

"Sorry, sorry! But you're just so hairy!," Venia, a woman with aqua hair and elegant gold tattoos over her eyebrows, trilled. Motioning to the man with with orange hair and bright purple lipstick, she said, "Come on Flavius, rub her down."

Octavia, a plumpish woman whose skin was a slightly creepy shade of pea green, clapped her hands after Flavius patted me down with the cooling lotion.

"You look marvelous darling!"

I smiled at them, not finding it in me to hate my shallow prep team.

I was annoyed with them for putting me through this though; it was painful.

I pitied the group who had Gale…he wouldn't be as nice about getting his hair ripped out as I did.

"Let's go get Cinna now!"

The three of them scrambled for the door, air kisses left behind.

As soon as they were gone, I pulled my robe on, not caring that 'Cinna' will have me take it off anyway.

I stared at myself in the mirror while I waited.

My hair had been washed, brushed, washed again, oiled, and then trimmed. Now, it fell in long waves down my back. When had it gotten so long?

The waxing must have taken off several layers of skin as well, because now I was paler than my normal olive tone…maybe my tan had really been dirt.

The sound of a door opening and closing had me turn around, and I was shocked by what I saw.

Most Capitol stylists (and citizens) were surgically altered, to the point of being grotesque. I had been expecting a man about 60, trying desperately to look 20. What I got was a young man, maybe five years older than me, with dark skin and close cropped brown hair. The only self-alteration I could see on him was the gold eyeliner that was applied with a light hand.

"Hello Katniss. I'm Cinna, your stylist."

I shook his hand, and let him lead me over to where they had a platter of fruit waiting for me.

We munched in companionable silence for a while. In truth, I was terrified of what kind of costume I was going to be put in for the night.

It was customary for the opening ceremonies for the tributes to be dressed in costumes that reflected their districts. Coming from District Twelve, all of the past tributes had been put in coal miner outfits, covered in coal dust, and one notable time, naked with coal dust. We always looked ridiculous; no wonder everyone thought our District was a joke.

Cinna's soft voice drew me out of my thoughts. I must have been staring out into space for a while.

"How barbaric we must seem to you."

I was so stunned I couldn't respond.

Like he had never even spoken, Cinna stood up and helped me over to a covered mannequin.

"You know it's customary to dress the tributes in a way that reflects the, well, _flavor_, of their district, correct?"

"Yeah, we're always coal miners."

Cinna smiled a little.

"Well, my partner Portia and I think that's overdone. We want to make sure that they remember you. What do you do with coal Katniss?"

The horror must have been pretty funny on my face because Cinna's smile got even wider.

"How do you feel about fire?"

* * *

"What the hell are the people here smoking?"

Gale was tensed, his shoulders hunched over as he whispered in my ear.

We were dressed in matching black unitards, ones that stuck to our frames like a second skin. Boots laced up to our knees, and I had a tiara on my head, Gale a crown. Both of us had capes hanging from our shoulders.

Gale didn't have any make up on; he didn't need it.

Even back home, girls had giggled and whispered about him when he passed. With his strong jaw and deep set eyes, he was handsome enough to please even the most snobby town girl. His broad shoulders and sculpted muscles, born out of hunting and not enough food, just tied up the package with a shiny bow.

His chest was broad, muscles ropey and hard from all the hours he spent in the woods with me. Despite that, his fingers were nimble and thin, perfect for setting snares.

"Your staring Catnip."

Surprisingly, I didn't blush.

"You look handsome Hawthorne."

If Gale was surprised by my unusual compliment, he didn't show it.

"You look pretty yourself."

"I won't when I'm set on fire and burned to a crisp."

Gale scoffed a little and turned back to the black horses who were going to be pulling our chariot.

"Where the hell is Haymitch? Shouldn't he be the one saving us from these lunatics?"

"With the amount of alcohol he has been sure to have consumed, it's probably not a good idea to have him near an open flame."

Gale's snickers went on until Cinna and Portia, his partner and Gale's stylist, came over with a small flame in his hand.

"I'll rip off your cape if you rip off mine."

"Deal."

Cinna, catching the tail end of our conversation, laughed.

"It's not real fire. It's synthetic, designed to burn only on the material that makes your crowns and capes. It won't burn you. Look."

He stuck his finger in the flame, causing me to hold my breath, expecting him to jerk it back with a blistering burn.

Instead, he pulled back a hand that was perfectly fine.

"Come on, we'll get in place, and then we'll light you up."

Gale got onto the chariot first, reaching back his hand to haul me up. When I was in, he didn't let go of my hand.

I didn't complain. It was nice to hold his hand.

_There_ was a thought that I was going to have to dissect later.

His callouses and scars were as familiar to me as my own, his large hands almost swallowing mine up.

Cinna's eyes got a small, mischievous light in them when he saw us holding hands, but he didn't say anything.

The horses pulled us in line when a gong sounded, so well trained they didn't even need someone to steer them.

District One, dressed to the nines in gems and fine clothing, pulled out first, followed by District Two and so on and so forth.

Rue, the little girl from District Eleven, was dressed like a little fairy.

God, she was too young for this.

Cinna motioned for us to hold still as he came closer with the flame.

Still a little skeptical, we let him light us up.

Sure enough, instead of painful burns, all I felt was a tickling sensation.

Just before we went out into the road, I went up on my tip-toes and whispered into Gale's ear, "We're going to give them hell."

Gale turned his head, his lips hovering somewhere above my right temple, and whispered back, "Damn right we will."

* * *

"You both were _amazing_!"

When Gale and I had come back into the center (amid the glares of all the others, because we had literally out shown them all), the prep team had descended on us like a flock of multicolored birds.

Even though we were at the receiving end of many glares, Gale had a small smile on his lips, which was the equivalent of a large grin on anybody else's face.

Effie finally stopped bouncing up and down on the tips of her toes long enough to usher us over to the elevators. I lagged behind a little, wanting a second to collect my thoughts.

Gale slipped up next to me, casually throwing his arm over my shoulder like he did back in the Hob. Only now, I didn't shake him off with a small glare.

After quickly changing into normal-ish clothes (black pants and a dark green shirt for me, and matching male garments for Gale) we went to the dinning room.

Silent servants stood around, waiting in their crisp uniforms to serve our every needs.

For some reason, their silence seemed really eerie, not just the silence of an obedient servant.

After the meal had been served, we went into yet another room to watch the recaps of the opening ceremonies.

To be honest, I didn't pay that much attention to them. All I could think about was how I would have just been getting back home from the Hob if I was still back in District Twelve.

Just like always, almost like he had read my mind, Gale cast me a look, his eyes flashing.

_Don't worry about them. _

_I'm not. _

_Good._

* * *

Early the next morning, Gale and I were dressed, yet again, in matching outfits.

I had just finished braiding my hair when Haymitch knocked on the door.

"You and the boy come out. We need to talk before you go down for Training."

Gale was already sitting at the table when I got there, munching on some kind of bread that was on the table.

Effie wasn't there (thank god, her screeching voice was not something I wanted to hear this early in the morning).

Haymitch swigged some coffee, but as far as I could tell, there was no alcohol in it.

"What are your strengths. And don't worry about being bugged, I had them all taken out long ago."

The look in his eyes told me he was telling the truth.

Gale cast me a sideways look, and fished hauntingly, "You saw us often enough around the Hot Old Barn."

'Hot Old Barn' was the code name for the Hob, the black market of District Twelve where Gale and I sold our wares. Haymitch was there often enough, slinging the handfuls of coins he won from the games over the counter to Ripper for the white liquor.

For some reason, I felt like we had just past some test that Haymitch had concocted.

"So, keep those skills under wraps and try learn more. Look more to the physical stuff now, build up muscle memory. Then, right before you go into the games, lean more to the survival stations, so their fresh in your mind. And stick together."

All of those I could easily do.

Haymitch escorted us to the elevators and sent us down, unlike Effie, who would have wanted to bring us all the way there herself and drop us off like little school children.

The ride was silent, but it was the silence born of many years being with each other; it wasn't uncomfortable.

The training rooms were huge. Mazes, stations where you could learn to use a sword, mace, spears, axes, knives, arrows, everything. Fire-making, rope-tying, and even edible plants.

Career's, the tributes from Districts One, Two, and sometimes Four, were already there, almost vibrating with contained energy that screamed 'deadly.'

Atala, a tall, dark-skinned woman who was the head trained, called us all over and stated bluntly, "In two weeks, 23 of you will be dead. One of you will be alive. Who that is depends on how well you pay attention over the next four days, particularly to what I'm about to say."

She held up one finger, glancing pointedly to the Career tributes.

"First, no fighting with the other Tributes. You'll have plenty of time for that in the arena. There are four compulsory exercises. The rest will be individual training. My advice is don't ignore the survival skills. Everybody wants to grab a sword, but most of you will die from natural causes."

Looking around, holding each of our eyes, she recited statistics that I had known since I was little girl.

"Ten percent from infection, twenty percent from dehydration. Exposure can kill as easily as a knife."

Not to the Careers. Not to the ones who got sponsors. Not to those who had what it took to win.

Casting a small look out of the corner of my eye to Gale, standing so stoic a little behind me and to the right, having my back like always, I knew I would do it for him.

* * *

Surprisingly, Gale and I were good at the maze.

There is something to be said about the silent language we have together.

Not surprisingly, I suck at everything that has to do with brute strength.

Gale laughs at me when I can barely pick up the axe, until I come (accidentally) close to dropping it on his foot, sharp edge first.

Spear throwing is kind of neutral; I could get it fast and straight, but how far I threw it varied. Gale was better at getting it farther, but his accuracy was less than mine.

We had gotten strange looks from everyone, not just the Careers but the trainers and other tributes; most of the time, the tributes from District Twelve did nothing but just try to get through the initial bloodbath, which they almost never did. Gale and I were focused on winning, and you could clearly see that in the way we moved around.

More than once Gale or I would turn around and see the female Careers staring at Gale and the males staring at me. Then I would look at him and we would know that something was up.

It wasn't until I was the last one still in the training area that I knew what it was.

I really wasn't alone, but Gale had gone off for a minute to get water in the next room and go to the bathroom, and I had lingered to practice some knife throwing.

Suddenly, the little hairs on the back of my neck stood up straight, and on instinct I whirled around, sinking down a little with a knife posed to throw.

The District Two tribute, Cato I think his name was, was smirking at me. His muscles ripped under his tight shirt, and his handsome features were obvious.

Yet I couldn't help but compare him to the more rugged, natural handsomeness of Gale.

He didn't say anything, just stared at me for a couple of minutes before leaning down putting his face right up near mine, our noses touching. His breath fanned across my face, his eyes moving across my face to see my reactions.

It took everything I could to stay still and stoic.

He whispered, his lips so close to mine I could feel the faintest brush of them against mine, "You might not remember me, but I remember you."

But when he was done looming over me like a creeper, he turned and just walked away without a backwards glance.

I had to restrain the violent urge to throw a knife into his retreating back.

What the hell had he meant?

* * *

**Plot twist!**

**OK, we're getting into the meaty goodness here; a couple more chapters, like the interviews and then the first day in the arena, and then everything is going to change.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, they mean so much to me! Please keep reviewing!**


	5. Chapter 5

_"The best way to avoid a broken heart is to pretend you don't have one."_

_-Charlie Sheen_

**Chapter Playlist: **Pompeii - Bastille

* * *

"For God's sakes, stop thinking about murdering him."

"He's a creeper."

"I know, but we don't need an enemy."

"Too late."

Sighing, I tried to reign in my irritation.

The two of us were sitting on the roof, which is why we were talking instead of "eyebrow twitching" as Prim had dubbed it back home.

The rooftop was pretty nice, and it was high up, which I liked. From where I sat near the ledge, I could see all the way to the skyline and it's bright colors.

Even though it was the same sky I saw back home, the colors seemed too bright, too fake, to be real.

Too Capitol made.

Gale sighed, before he stopped the pacing he had been doing before plopping down next to me on the bench where I had been sitting.

Leaning against him like I always did, I focused on cutting the apple I had taken from dinner into fourths. The juice ran down my hands, but I didn't care if they made my hands sticky or stained the entirely too expensive pants I was wearing.

I didn't tell Gale what Cato had told me; I knew he would just go into an enraged mood and try to kill the guy before we even go into the arena.

Truthfully, it was bothering me. I had no idea what Cato meant when he said he "remembered me." Where had I seen him before?

There was silence for a while before Gale said, "Any idea what you're going to do in the private training sessions?"

The days had past by so quickly, and training had been so brutal, it was hard to believe that we were two days away from being put into the games.

I had packed on some pounds and muscle and some skills, although not nearly enough to please my mind.

Normally, girls didn't want to gain weight…to me, it was a blessing, something that was to be rejoiced, not bemoaned.

Shaking myself out of my mental tangent, I shrugged, handing Gale a slice of apple.

"I don't know. I guess shoot a little, try to make them impressed."

Gale shrugged as well, taking the apple quarter I offered him.

"I wish we could get a little practice with them before we went in."

I was thinking the same thing, but whatever…it's not like we would ever have the opportunity to sneak in after training hours.

Stretching, I unfolded myself and stood up, throwing the pit of the apple into the far edge of the garden on the far corner of the building.

"Come on, there's some intense crap going on tomorrow. Let's get some sleep."

* * *

The next morning came way to quickly for my tastes.

As the female tribute for District Twelve, I would be going last for the scores.

Gale bit into the roll he had taken from breakfast, waiting with me.

I had to glare at him, because I had no idea how he could remain so calm and cool the entire time we had been in this hell hole.

Maybe he was just trying to be charming to everyone we met here; he did have the looks for it.

What was I thinking?

Mentally slapping myself, I turned back to staring at the wall, trying hard to abandon the thoughts of how attractive Gale might or might not be, or how he could be charming without really trying.

Like he could read my mind (which he really could), Gale looked at me with gray eyes that looked black with the intensity.

"Catnip, calm down. You're going to do fine."

I thought back to what Haymitch had said to us this morning at breakfast.

_Make sure they remember you,_

How could I make sure they remember me when there were 23 other tributes who went before me, most of them having more talent at killing than any teenager had the right to?

A warm hand enclosed over mine, and my eyes met his.

"_Calm down_ Catnip."

Before I could say anything, the Gamemakers called Gale into the room.

"Good luck," I managed to whisper.

Gale shot me a saucy wink before getting up and disappearing through the doors.

I paced for maybe thirty more minutes (what the hell was he doing?) before I got called into the room.

The Gamemakers were milling around, clinging their champagne classes against one another's and laughing. Some of them were eating some food from a banquet table that had been set up.

There were some weights out of place, and some ropes with intricate snares still laying around. Apparently they were too lazy (or drunk) by now to even call someone else into the room and clean it up.

"Katniss Everdeen?" I called, trying to get their attention.

The main man, with the most intricate (and slightly ridiculous) beard I have ever seen turned, nodding to me to continue.

I walked swiftly by the knife station and to the archery station, my blood humming with excitement to _finally _be able to touch the bow.

I string an arrow, and immediately knew something was wrong.

The curve of the metal and the tautness of the string was different than what I was used to. But I didn't have time to fire off some practice shots; I needed to impress them now.

My shot went wide.

The little attention that I had had was gone now.

Fury unlike anything I had ever known flew threw me with startling intensity.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had the arrow drawn and then it was speeding through the air, piercing the apple in the pig's mouth and then impaled it on the wall behind them, inches from Seneca Crane's head.

Dead silence, except for the tinkling of glasses as they slipped from limp hands and shattered on the floor.

Using my frostiest voice, I bit out, "Thank you for your consideration," making sure to bow condescendingly low. Before I left, I threw my arrows down so they spilled everywhere; the sound of their sharp tips scraping against the metal floor made some of the Gamemakers wince.

I didn't regret it as I made my way up the elevator; the thought of them hurting my family crossed my mind, but they would have to reveal to the general public what I had done, and I knew they were going to do that.

Really, all I was slightly afraid about was what they would give me as a training score…or what they would do to me in the arena.

What would they do to _Gale_ in the arena to punish me?

I shivered, trying not to think of it too much.

It would only make things harder to do.

* * *

Gale actually got a kick out of what I had done.

"All I did was throw around weights, shoot, and snare things. They really didn't even look up until I set off a spring trap."

"Which spring trap?"

"The one that will grab the leg of something and then launch it fifty feet away. I used a smaller scale, but it served it's purpose. I liked to imagine that Cato was the one being launched."

I laughed a little at that.

Haymitch was still in shock (and in hysterical laughter) when we told him what I had done. Effie had been upset, more about the "lack of manners!" and "Oh, how will this reflect on me!?"

Gale and I had chosen to ignore her.

"Genius…you two both made sure that they would remember you. Now…we just have to hope that it was enough."

Soon enough it was time for the announcing of the scores. Gale and I sprawled out on a sofa, Effie perching daintily on one of the love seats, and Haymitch slumped in a single plush looking chair. Cinna passed a soft hand over my head as he went to sit next to Portia on the other sofa.

We waited with tensed, bated breath as the scores flashed up.

As expected, the Career group got the highest scores, either a 9 or a 10. Then there were the lower numbers, but surprisingly, little Rue from District 11 got a 7, and her district partner, Thresh, got an 8.

Caesar Flickerman shuffled his papers, a look of excitement on his face.

"And last but not least, Gale Hawthorne…with a 10."

I wish I could have captured the look of his face when he heard that. He was so shocked, his jaw fell and almost hit his chest.

It was chaos for a moment; I almost didn't hear my score.

"And Katniss Everdeen…with an…_11."_

There was silence, and then the chaos came back doubled.

Cinna gave me a gentle hug, Haymitch roared with laughter, Effie shrieked with glee.

Gale swept me up in a hug, his face so full of hope and joy that it made my heart ache.

"We're golden Catnip."

He was right. One of us could survive; we would have sponsors, we had the talent…we could win.

Well…one of us could win.

And as I watched him smile and thank Portia and Cinna, my resolve that it would be him hardened even more.

* * *

**A/N: OK, this chapter was supposed to be up earlier, but my sister got stung by a bee and we found out the hard way that she was allergic to them. Five hours in the ER is exhausting, lemme tell you. She's OK now, just kind of loopy from the amount of medicine they gave her. You might have seen from my profile I'm trying to get into an updating schedule, so tomorrow (hopefully) there will be a new chapter of With Arms Wide Open. Thank you so much for the reviews, please keep them coming! I'm sorry this is such a short filler chapter, but the next one has more drama, I promise!**


	6. Chapter 6

_"When all choice is taken from you, life becomes a game of survival."_

_-Ellen Hopkins, Tricks_

**Chapter Soundtrack**: Warrior - Demi Lovato **&** Haunted - Taylor Swift

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I had a crick in my neck and my lower back was killing me.

For the second time in a row, Gale and I had fallen asleep in my room.

He would come in and we would just talk, play a card game until we fell asleep. The first time we did, Effie was the one who found us and we had to sit through an hour long, screaming lecture on "propriety" and "manners!"

When we pointed out that the door had been cracked open, we were both fully clothed, and we weren't even under the covers, Effie spluttered before she stomped out of the room, throwing a "Keep the door fully open!" behind her.

Gale and I had a good laugh over that.

Last night, Gale and I had spent the night just talking about everything and nothing, reminiscing on some of the stupid things that had happened to us (like when the two of us had a competition to see who could balance a twig on our nose the longest and then he got a splinter in his nose that he couldn't pull out and I couldn't either because I had been laughing too hard) or some of the more sober, intimate things, like the night we bought Posy and Prim out into the woods and tried to teach them how to hunt and gather, in case something happened).

He had been sitting with his back against my headboard, his legs sprawled out in front of him. I had sat perpendicular to him, my back against the wall and my legs over his lap. We had fallen asleep like that, and now I was paying for it dearly.

Effie came tottering into my room, her nose wrinkled in distaste when she saw us sleeping together, but she didn't say anything, thank God, other than "Up up up! Portia and Cinna are here already, we need to talk about what is going to happen tonight with the interviews!"

Gale groaned and just let his head flop back; I had to wince a little at the dull _thud_ sound it made.

"This is going to be pure hell."

I sighed, but he must have known that I agreed with him.

oOoOoOoOoOo

After being with Effie for three hours (and all we did was practice _smiling_ and walking in _heels; what the hell _was that useful for!?), and then with Haymitch for three hours (which was somewhat better, as he just told me what angle to work for - the girl who had everything to fight for but a friend to die for - and he didn't insult me nearly as much as he normally did) I was ready to kill someone. Or something. Preferably Cato, now that I think about it.

And that was a whole other story.

I had been debating about where the hell I had seen Cato before; I knew I had seen him before this, because he looked so damn familiar, but I couldn't think through my frustration.

Finally, after lunch, I just changed into shorts and a shirt and snuck away to the training room; hopefully I could get a few minutes alone, if the Career's weren't there.

Surprisingly, no Career's were there.

With a furtive glance over my shoulder, I sprinted over to the arrows and plucked them up, the quiver settled between my shoulder blades and the bow in my hands before I could take another breath.

For one glorious hour, I was there just pulling arrow after arrow and emptying my bow into the bulls-eyes. It was more therapeutic than it should have been, but by the end of those sixty minutes, I no longer had the urge to kill something.

Then the claps started.

I froze, an un-strung arrow in my hands. I knew who it was before I even turned around.

"You've gotten better."

Cato's voice rumbled over my shoulders like thunder. The hairs on my neck stood up like soldiers.

"How would you know?"

I turned slowly, the arrow still gripped in my hand; my knuckles were turning white, but I didn't loosen my grip.

Cato was slumped against the wall, one foot propped against it. His hair was flopping around his face, not gelled into spikes like it normally had been during training. He looked younger, more like the eighteen-year old boy he was than the killer he seemed to be in training.

He smiled sadly, and the depth of the emotion in his eyes and on his face almost knocked my knees out from underneath me.

"You really don't remember me."

It wasn't a question, more of a statement.

"Look, Cato, I don't know what game you're playing, but please, leave me the hell alone."

"You didn't know me as Cato. You called me Toto, after that stupid dog in that old movie we watched in the train. You don't remember? You were six, I was eight. I was with my uncle, Brutus, he was the mentor for the one who won that year. Prim was two, and my little brother was three. You joked we should marry them so we would actually be related."

I stared at him, unwilling to let him know that the memories were fuzzy now, coming back with muted clarity. I didn't want to trust this boy, this killer, in front of me, no matter what kind of story he was twisting.

"Do you remember this?"

He reached out his right wrist, a small bracelet on it that I didn't recognize. I looked at him warily, not wanting to get closer to him.

He sighed heavily, reaching to the button on the bottom and letting it fall into his hand, before underhand throwing it to me. I caught it automatically, almost like it was a bomb that was going to explode.

"We exchanged bracelets like that when I came back the next year, the last year I was able to go back to District Twelve. You carved a katniss flower into it, and I carved a pen into yours, because the man I was named after was writer."

I stared down at the bracelet, running my fingers of the thick leather.

It had clearly been widened, maybe to fit his wrist more. The leather was a deep brown, the carvings a shade lighter and a little faded with time. I ran my fingers over the carving of a katniss flower, my own initials, K.E. underneath it.

Suddenly, I was propelled back in time, the memories fuzzy and indistinct like they had been hidden under a layer of wool.

I was six, running and playing with the young boy who came from the train. I had been too young then to understand the Hunger Games, and my father tried to protect me and Prim from the horror of it until we were old enough to understand.

The boy had bright blue eyes and yellow hair, something I wasn't used to; not even merchant families or Mom or Prim had eyes and hair so bright. He used to like to run his hands over my braid; apparently no one back where he was from had hair that long.

I remember thinking he was too serious, too muscled to look his age. I remember sneaking onto the train to watch a moving picture, jokingly giving him the nickname "Toto" after the dog in the movie, but then stopping when he threatened to call me "Kitty Cat."

I remember him coming back the year after, to tell me he wouldn't be able to come back. Like the innocent children we were, we promised to write, to find each other when we got older. I remember him putting a bracelet on my wrist, one that was lost years later in our house when Prim was annoyed at me. I remember carving the flower into another bracelet so he would remember me, and him carving the pen into mine.

I dropped the bracelet and the arrow, my heart pounding quickly in my chest.

I had forgotten about my friend, forgotten him when the pain of missing him became too much; I let him go from my mind. I had forgotten him when the little girl I was grew up too fast, took over our family, hunted and broke laws to provide for her family.

I had forgotten him, and now I was going to be thrown into the arena with not one, but two people I knew.

I was so confused; what did this mean for me now?

Cato was still watching me with those blue, blue eyes, hope buried deep underneath.

Time for me to be the ice bitch I was accused of being back home.

I grabbed the bracelet from the ground and chucked it back to him, keeping my face blank and cool,

"This changes nothing Cato. We're going into the Hunger Games. Only one person gets out alive."

His face hardened, and I realized with a flinch of (unexpected) pain he was expecting something else from me.

It had been ten years; what did he expect me to do?

"Of course not. Watch your back, Girl on Fire."

I slowly backed up, not looking anywhere else but his eyes, and then slipped out into the hall and to the elevators.

I tried to pretend I didn't hear the crash of dummies agains the wall, or the howls and yells of fury and hurt that resonated behind me.

Mostly, I tried to pretend that the encounter didn't mean anything to me.

But it did…this was just one more thing the Capitol was taking from me.

I _hated_ them for it.

I leaned against the wall in the elevator, and closed my eyes.

Maybe this will all be a bad dream.

Yeah, right. I didn't have that kind of luck.

* * *

**A/N: Hi, I'm not dead! Surgery went well, but I felt like my head had been inflated with lead, and it _sucked_. All I did was sit in a dark room and watch NCIS because I couldn't focus on anything without getting a headache. Trying to get back on my updating schedule, trying people!**

**NOW we know how Cato and Katniss know each other! Flashbacks might be coming up, hint hint wink wink. I hope you guys like this chapter, please drop a line and thank you for the other reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

_"Because to tell you the truth, most of the time dying seems pretty much like my only means of escape."_

_-Ellen Hopkins, Identical_

**Chapter Soundtrack:** Burn - Ellie Goulding **& **Diamonds - Dave Baxer

* * *

I spun around, watching my reflection in the mirror. I couldn't believe it was me.

Cinna had put me in a dress that was made almost entirely of gems, arranged in a pattern of flames. Whenever I moved, the light reflected off, literally making it look like I was on fire.

My make-up was bold, highlighting my eyes and making me look far prettier than I ever thought I could be. My hair, which had been washed, straightened until it fell down to my waist, and then twisted and braided into an intricate bun studded with gems.

Cinna smiled, before reaching out and moving a gem slightly in my hair.

"Gale is going to faint when he sees you. I think Cato, the tribute from District Two, will do the same."

I wasn't surprised Cinna had picked up on it; he always seemed to know more than what I told him.

"Cinna…I knew him from a long time ago, and I just don't know what he expects out of me."

I hadn't meant to talk to Cinna about it, but I needed guidance more than I needed my pride. This was on thing I couldn't talk to Gale about, and Prim was all the way back home, probably waiting with anxiety for the interviews.

Cinna offered me a small glass filled with a bright red liquid, motioning for me to drink while he made last minute alterations to my appearance.

"I don't think he expects anything out of you Katniss. I think he wishes for you, but he knows deep down he's wishing for the one thing you won't give him."

"I don't even know what that one thing is."

"He wants your love, Katniss. But though you might give it to him, it won't be the love he wants."

Freaking hell, Peeta, Gale, Cato, hell, even Darius…is there a sign on my back that says "Girl Here, Fall In Love With Her!"

Cinna laughed, which made me think I had either said my thought out loud or my facial expression was good enough of a statement.

"Katniss, you took on a burden before you were even a teenager. You didn't get the chance to discover boys, discover your own femininity. But speaking as a male, and being objective, you are beautiful, strong, and distant in a way that makes you seem untouchable. It's a heady combination, and those boys aren't going to be the last to fall for you."

I blushed so deeply I could have sworn my head would explode.

Cinna kissed my forehead, careful not so smudge my make-up or ruin the pattern of jewels on my face.

"But I think deep down, you have already chosen on…all you need to do now it make it known to them."

I blushed even harder, but before I could say something, there was a knock on the door.

To distract myself, I took a sip of the bright liquid and was happy to find it was a fruit juice spiced with mint and non-alcoholic.

When Cinna opened the door, Portia stepped in, her hair curled up into a cloud of dark black curls. Right behind her was Gale.

I almost chocked on my drink.

He was wearing a black suit with patterns of flames embroidered into it in sparkling thread, giving the same decorative illusion as my dress. Instead of gems in his hair and on his face, gold patterns had been painted on, bringing attention to his bright eyes and dark hair.

Gale's eyes went wide when they saw me, like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. I guess it was the shock of seeing me in a dress, something he only saw when I was at a Reaping or a formal day at school.

"You look beautiful…"

The words seemed to slip out of his mouth, and Mr. Smooth-King-Of-The-Slag-Heap Hawthorne actually _blushed_.

I smirked, walking over to him and handed him my drink before giving a quick hug to Portia, who was watching the whole scene with amusement.

"You don't look half-bad yourself."

Gale reached out and touched the pin on my collar, and smiled a little. "You'll see them soon."

I reached up and touched the necklace on his neck, a small bronze disk stamped flat and carved with the words _Veni, Vidi, Vici_ carved into it. Apparently, when his ancestors had been involved in the first Rebellion, one of them was a general who had this necklace made after the words a famous man had once said, meaning, "I came, I saw, I conquered." His mother had kept it hidden, and had given it to him for his token.

"Don't start Gale. We have to go to the interviews, and the last thing I need to do right now is give you a black eye."

Cinna made a choking noise that sounded like a repressed laugh, but he did lead us down to the cars.

I felt heavy eyes on my bare back and refused to turn, knowing whom the eyes belonged to.

A familiar calloused hand brushed on the bare skin near the edges of the back of my dress, and I turned my head the littlest bit to the right to see Gale, his jaw hard, his eyes held in a stare-down with Cato.

The door to the car cut the stare-down, and I had to really control myself to keep from rolling my eyes. Men and their damn alpha showdowns.

Soon, we were pulled up to the large building that was going to host the interviews. Gale jumped out of the car first, reaching a hand back to pull me up. When I was upright, he didn't let go, just pulled me close to his side and helped me navigate through the flashing lights.

All the tributes were arranged in a horseshoe shape around the raised platform where the interviews would take place. We were allowed three minutes to work our angle and wow the crowd.

Sitting in order of Districts in a girl-boy-girl-boy pattern, Gale and I watched the others file in, hands still twined together.

Glimmer was dressed in a candy pink dress, so short that I blushed for her. It was cut down so low I could have sworn I saw her belly-button. Nevertheless, she looked beautiful. Marvel was dressed in a bright blue tuxedo that made him look like a clown.

My eyes were drawn to Cato, who was sitting slouched in his seat, his suit a deep blue that brought out the color in his eyes, silver patterns sewn through it. The silver matched the gown his partner, Clove. She looked young, maybe two years older than Prim, and she would have been beautiful, had the scowl on her face been a real smile.

Down the line we looked, sizing up the competition. Most of the other tributes really didn't strike chords in me, other than our neighbors, Thresh and Rue from District Eleven.

She was dressed like the fairies I had seen in books. Her curly hair, sort of like Posy's in the wildness, was teased in a halo around her head, sprinkled with glitter. She was in a pale pink dress, emphasizing her child-like innocence. Fake wings sprouted from her back, pure white and shinning.

Thresh, her partner, was huge and hulking next to her, but his hand rested on Rue's shoulder and his eyes flickered around, keeping a look-out. It made me feel better that she had someone looking out for her.

There was a roar through the crowd; jerked out of my thoughts, I turned to the stage and saw Caesar Flickerman bounding onto the stage, the color of the year Navy Blue.

"Thank you! Thank you! Tonight, we are going to interview the tributes you have all become so infatuated with. _But,_ tonight there is going to be a twist!"

Gale shot a quick look over to me, an eyebrow raised in a silent question. I tilted one shoulder up, rubbing my thumb quickly over his knuckles in response that I had no idea.

Caesar turned to the crowd, his voice enthusiastic.

"By popular demand, we have switched the order of the interviews tonight! Instead of starting with the female tribute from District One, we will start with the male tribute of District Twelve!"

The roar of the crowd grew to epic proportions, and Gale's hand convulsed on top of mine, but his face we keep in a deceptively blank smile.

"So come on up here Mr. Gale Hawthorne!"

Gale smiled at the cheering crowd (most of it made up by women, which kind of irritated me but I refused to show it; somehow I had a feeling Gale knew) raised his free hand to wave before kissing the back of mine (making the roar grow louder) before bounding up the stairs to shake Caesar's hand.

"Gale, welcome to the Capital! I must say, there are many questions circulating about you and your lovely friend Katniss. To start off, why don't you tell me everything that was running through your mind during the Reaping?"

If anyone else had known Gale like I did, they would have seen the flicker of irritation and cold defiance in Gale's eyes. But he opened his mouth and dove right into it.

"I had promised my little sister, Posy, that morning that she would be safe, but I knew that if something had happened I wouldn't have been able to spare her, only volunteer to keep her safe. So imagine my horror when she is reaped. And then, to top it off, my stubborn as a mule - and beautiful!" He threw in jokingly, seeing me cross my arms across my chest and causing everyone else to laugh, "best friend volunteer for my sister. It was being stuck between a rock and hard place, but I am so thankful to her."

Caesar was a good man; he kept the conversations going, and tried to make you seem better than you were. Right then, he was laughing with Gale, a small smile on his face.

"How did you and Katniss become such great friends?"

Both of us winced minutely, but you would have had to been looking closely to see it.

Gale stuck pretty close to the story, only editing it a little to make sure nothing illegal we had done was public. Most everyone already knew, but why flaunt it in their face?

"Both of our fathers were killed in the same mining accident when I was about fourteen, so Katniss, you were about eleven?"

I called back, "Turning twelve!"

Gale smiled, before getting back into the story, his voice weaving a very clear picture.

"So during it all, when I was handed a Medal of Valor for my father, I look over and I see this girl with dark hair and bright eyes, standing tall and proud even while holding her little sister. And then, months later, I run into her at the Meadow near the Seam, our town. She's sitting there singing to her little sister, and I'm a goner."

Everyone in the crowd laughed, but then promptly paid attention to Caesar; time was running out, and there were many questions they wanted answered.

"So Gale…are you and Katniss just best friends, or is there something more going on there?"

Dead silence. I don't think once in all the years I watched the interviews had there ever been dead silence during an interview.

"Honestly Caesar, I don't know the answer to that question. But I know what I hope, and I know what I wanted…unfortunately, I don't know if circumstances are going to work out in our favor."

Mercifully, I was able to keep composure. The bell rang, signaling the end of the interview, and the audience groaned in disappointment, some of them even calling out for more time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Clove scowl. Cato's face was blank, but the way his knuckles were white where he was griping his seat betrayed just how intense his emotions were.

Gale slipped out of the chair, let Caesar flash him around a little, and then bounded back to the seat.

To my surprise, he threw an arm around my shoulders and pressed a ridiculously over the top and sloppy kiss to my cheek. I had to laugh, pushing him back a little so I could walk up to the stage.

The roar of the crowd surprised me; I knew Gale and I had become popular, but I guess it hadn't really struck me until now.

Caesar smiled at me and took my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

"Katniss Everdeen! You and your friend have made such a _splash_ here in the Capital, I don't even know what to say!"

I had covered my angle with Haymitch; he told me that while I was a horrible liar but an okay actress, and I was pulling every bit of my abilities into this interview.

"It's weird for me too Caesar…I'm used to it just being me and my family, and now I'm thrust into the spotlight."

Caesar nodded sympathetically, and I found myself actually relaxing a little, even though I knew the questions were going to get a lot more intrusive.

"So, Katniss…same question I asked Gale. What is your relationship?"

Decided to tease them a little bit, I decided to be honest and yet coy.

"There is no label for it to be honest..we're in such a unique situation…but he knows I would lay my life down for him, and I know he would do the same for me, even though I'm not going to let him."

"Yes you are!" Gale shouted from his seat, a fake, playful smile on his face but hardness in his eyes.

The crowd laughed, and a quick glance at Haymitch told me we were playing the crowd exactly right. It was going to be hard for any other tribute to measure up to us after this, and judging by the looks on their faces, they knew it too.

"You gave up your life though for his sister."

Caesar said it like a statement, but it sounded like a question.

"Yes I did. Posy is the same age as my little sister, and is my sister in everything but blood."

"In time, could she have been a sister in law?"

I smiled, but the irritation at the prying made my left eye twitch a little. From the corner of my eye, I saw Gale stuff a knuckle into his mouth to keep from smirking. I shot him a look that made it clear I was not amused with him.

We bantered back and forth, all the while Caesar was trying to pry more personally into my life, and I was trying to keep him out until the last minute, when Haymitch and I had planned the final bomb.

A quick glance at the timer told me it was almost time.

Caesar played the part spectacularly, asking the question that Haymitch and I had been betting on.

"So, Katniss, what is the plan for you when you go into the arena with your best friend?"

I smiled a sad smile, my cheeks almost hurting from all the acting and fake facial expressions I was doing in the short period of time.

"I'm going to keep him alive. I'm going to protect him, just like he protects me from the boys back home who don't know how to take a hint. I'm going to send him home to the sister I will die to save, and hope he looks after mine. I'm going to be the best friend and protector he was to me Caesar. And even in the end, if we are the last two standing, I am going to knock him out and end it myself, to make sure he comes home. If we aren't, then…I won't even try to come home without him."

That was the truth though, and Gale knew it, because his eyes darkened and his face paled.

I wouldn't go home without him. If for some reason he was killed before me, I would take the nearest sharp thing and end it myself. I wasn't going home without him. Even my wish to see Prim and my mother again wasn't going to be strong enough to bring me back to them if Gale was dead.

The buzzer rang, my words ringing along with it. Caesar stood up, offering me a hand and commenting quickly about my dress and the pleasure it has been, and I smiled blandly at the audience. I slipped down the stairs and settled back into my seat, my knees almost weak with the relief of having it over with. Looking back, I was surprised that I had stayed so calm.

Gale threw an arm around my shoulder, and I reached a hand up to lace my fingers through that hand. He leaned close to whisper in my ear, so softly that even the most sensitive cameras or the audience could hear him.

"Don't you dare Katniss. Don't you dare take that choice from me."

My fingers tightened convulsively on his hand, and I kept a pleasant look plastered on my face.

"Don't _you _dare Gale. I left my family behind to save Posy because I love her, and I won't go back to District Twelve to look her in the eye to tell her her life came at her brothers price. I won't let you die for me, and we can fight this till we're blue in the face, but you are _not _going to change my mind."

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to get out, but thank you for all the beautiful reviews! To pay you back, I made this chapter a monster, more than 3,000 words (which is a lot for me!) It was actually going to be longer, but I chopped it and the next part should be out soon. I recently had surgery again, so I'm just laying in bed watching movies and writing in between bouts of pain medication. Thanks again for the reviews, and please keep them coming! The action is coming up soon, especially with Cato and some drama thrown in from an outside force! Also, I updated Call of the Phoenix, but it doesn't look too much like it cause I deleted my author notes chapters so it looks shorter. Please drop me a line and tell me if you liked it or not!**


	8. Chapter 8

_"Do not give up on yourself, on the truths you have realized. Do not give in to those who would crutch your dreams like nutshells. And never turn away from forever love."_

_-Ellen Hopkins, Burned_

**Chapter Soundtrack: **All This Time - OneRepublic **&** Never Let Me Go - Florence + The Machine

* * *

The rest of the interviews passed quickly, and I was so lost in my thoughts I only came to when Cato was called to the stage.

Besides me and Gale, Cato and Clove were the second runners up for most popular tribute pair this year.

"Ah, Cato! How is the capital treating you so far?"

Cato had pasted on a smile, wide and fake, showing almost every single one of his pearly white and perfectly straight teeth.

"It's been perfect Caesar. I am so blessed to have this opportunity to bring honor to my district."

Everyone else seemed to be eating it up, but I wasn't so sure. I didn't know what my mind was trying to do to me; I didn't want to have pity for this boy who used to be my friend. I didn't want any more complications right now. And yet, I was listening close to his every word, trying to glean some sort of hidden information from his words.

"Ah, is there a girl you're going to bring honor to back at District Two?" Caesar said, leaning back in his chair. "Handsome lad like you, you must have the girls lined up all around town!"

Cato smiled sadly, before bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his head, messing up his gelled hair slightly.

"Honestly Caesar, I don't know if I really love this one girl, or if I feel guilty because I failed her."

Caesar leaned forward in a practiced, flourished movement.

"Well, tell me more my dear boy! Maybe we can help you!" The crowd roared at his words, and Cato actually _blushed _a little, his cheeks turning the color of sunset pink.

Cato's eyes remained firmly on Caesar, but slowly, his two fingers on his right hand came up and rested on his lips, and then he put them on his temple. The movement seemed familiar, intimate, and yet there was a haze to my memory that kept me from remembering it fully.

"I was friends with this girl when I was young. We laughed a lot, planned to marry our siblings off the same way we planned our own wedding. She made me a bracelet, and I made her one too. But she forgot about me, through no fault of my own to be honest."

My breath caught in my throat, and for a second, I couldn't believe he was talking about us like this. Hadn't he done enough? Why did he want to torture us, himself, _me_, over something that had happened ten years ago? Did he want to knock me off my game so desperately he was sinking this low? Why was he trying to get to me, of all people?

And more importantly, why was I letting him?

"But you can win and go back to her Cato! You can tell her how much you care about her, enough to go home in a blaze of glory!"

I leaned forward a little, begging him in my mind not to go there.

Finally, he looked up and stared at me in the eyes for a couple of seconds, not nearly long enough for the audience to notice, but enough for Gale to grip my hand tighter and for my heart to clench in my chest.

"I wish Caesar. I wish."

The timer went off, and that was the end of that.

* * *

After all the interviews were done, I posed and faked a smile with Gale for the cameras, and then the entire ride back to the Training Building was spent in silence.

Gale knew without asking that I needed to be alone with my thoughts. I needed time to absorb everything that had happened that night, to compartmentalize it and make sure the emotions and the memories wouldn't come up again at the most inopportune time.

Gale let me go after we stepped off the elevator, only squeezed my shoulder in a comforting gesture. I shot him what I hoped was a calm look over my shoulder, and then took off for the shower.

I stood there under the pouring water, allowing it to wash away the make-up and the sorrow I felt.

I rested my back against the cool tile, and allowed myself to think everything through, step by step.

Cato was a problem. I needed to forget (again) about the past we shared, the measly two years that seemed to impact me more than they should. I needed to forget how he had been a good friend to me those two years, and how I cherished those memories before I grew up way too fast.

Those memories shelved and packed away, I turned to another pressing issue.

Gale.

What the holy hell was this boy doing to me? We were close, best friends, and I trusted him with my life. I hunted with him, laughed with him, protected his family while he helped protect mine. We ate meals together, shared the burden of breadwinners. I didn't just accept his faults, I loved them just as much as I loved his good traits, and I knew he did for me as well.

I had never wanted to fall in love, never wanted anything to do with that, but I knew Gale did. I knew Gale wanted the wife and children, but I never once put myself in the position to think that it might be me that would be able to give it to him.

Not that it mattered right now. I was here for two reasons only. I was here because Posy was too young for this, and I was here to make sure my best friend, the better half of me, made it back home to make some woman's dream come true.

I stepped out of the shower, ignoring the aching of my heart, and dressed again in clothes that had been laid out for me.

Tomorrow I was going into the games, and I needed to be 100% on my game to make sure Gale would come out of it.

When I walked out of the bathroom, toweling my hair dry, I saw Gale sitting on my bed, his hair damp from the shower. The tattoos weren't on his face anymore; just the panes of his jaw, set tight.

He stood up when I walked over to him, reaching out a hand for me to take. I dropped the towel on the floor, letting him pull me to the hall and then up the stairs to the rooftop, a place I had taken to secretly calling ours.

Once there, I sat cross-legged on the ledge, turning my head to look out over the city lights. My hair was damp against my neck, but the blowing wind, though cold, was drying it.

Gale leaned against the ledge in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest. Even though he was in nothing but a thin shirt, the brisk air didn't faze him.

Once again, I found myself staring at him.

His hair, which had always been a little shaggy, had been cut by Portia. Now it was just messy and wet from his shower, flying everywhere in the breeze, little droplets of water hitting my shirt.

His gray eyes, almost the same gray as mine, were stormy, hooded. I didn't know if it was from the interviews, from the secret he knew I was keeping from him, or from the knowledge that this time tomorrow, we could be dead.

"Katniss…"

I was pulled out of my musing when he called my name.

He had a little smile quirking his lips, but it faded when he looked over my shoulder and kept talking.

"We need to talk about what's going to happen tomorrow-"

"Don't."

"Katniss-"

"Don't Gale. I meant every word I said tonight."

His eyes got even darker at that, and now he scowled.

"Don't be stubborn about this Katniss. Not about this."

Furious, I reacted on instinct.

Now kneeling on the ledge, I grabbed his face in both of my hands, forcing him to look me in the eye.

"Listen to me very closely Gale. You are going to go home. You are going to look after Mom and Prim for me, and keep hunting. You are going to be a victor, and make sure that Posy and Prim and Rory and Vick and our mothers will _never_ starve again. You are going to find a wife and have those children you've wanted but never admitted. You are never going to have to work in the mines because of the money you're going to win. You are going to go _home_. Promise me."

Gale had been shocked, I could tell that much. I could count on one hand the number of times I had touched him like this. Then, as I continued to talk, I felt his jaw tense, saw his eyes darken even more.

He didn't say anything.

I gripped his face even tighter, suddenly desperate to make him accept this, accept my choice. I was desperate for the ache in my chest disappear, I was desperate for him to see and hear the words and emotions I would never show right now.

"_Promise me." _

Gale shook his head slowly, as much as he could with my keeping him still and maintaining eye contact.

"There will be nothing left for me in District Twelve if you aren't there Katniss."

The ache in my chest grew even more, but I ignored it. I let my hands drop, but Gale didn't move away; if anything, he leaned over me, closer than before, trapping me between the ledge and his chest.

Even if these words burned, I needed to get them out.

"Of course you will…you have your family, and mine, and the girls who want to marry you, and a _life-"_

_"None of them are you!"_

_Silence. _

I froze, as tensed as I had the day when I had fallen out of a tree and gotten the wind knocked out of me. The ache that had been steadily growing in my chest turned into something even more painful: hope.

The emotions I had been trying to temper down, the longing for my best friend, for the chance to love him like I would have not loved anyone else back home…they all burst forth in a damn, the rush of the emotions heady and intoxicating.

"What?"

Gale sighed, letting his chin drop so it rested against his chest.

"How could you not seen it? I had never tried to hide it, I never tried to keep it from you."

"What?" I asked again, now a little irritated.

Gale sighed again, and when he raised his head, he moved so quickly it took me a moment to process everything.

He reached out and grabbed my chin with two fingers, tilting my head a little to the side, before he kissed me.

I froze, utterly unable to move.

His lips were hard, but soft. He tasted like mint and a spicier, more masculine taste that was utterly _Gale_.

Before I could gather my brain enough to kiss him back, or to yell, or _something_, he pulled back, resting his forehead on mine, letting his nose skim mine and his breath rush across my face.

"It's always been you Katniss. Always has been, and always will. I haven't been acting for the cameras, not about this. Not about you. It's always been you."

"Gale…" I whispered, trying to get my breath back.

We stayed in that position for about three more seconds before I lost control of my emotions and grabbed his collar in my hands, dragging his face down to mine again.

Our lips clashed again. Once he got over the shock of my initiation, his hands clutched me tighter, kissing me more eagerly, ardently.

My head was spinning; I wasn't getting enough oxygen in my lungs in between kisses, but I didn't want them. I wanted Gale, his heavy presence surrounding me, the feel of his skin against mine and his scent in my nose.

My legs went around his waist, and he had me pressed against the ledge, his chest broad against mine. Every part of him fit into me perfectly. Hormones I would have sworn I didn't have rushed through my veins, making me want him so much more.

Prim had always thought the moment that we found the one we loved there would be a big epiphany, a rush through the sky that exploded into a million stars. For me, it was simple as Gale's lips against mine, the whisper of them together lost in the wind that blew our hair around our faces, wrapping us in a comforting embrace.

* * *

"I want to do something crazy."

I looked down at my lap, where Gale's head was resting as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Like that?"

"I don't know…get a tattoo, dye my hair a ridiculous color, jump off a cliff…I want to do something stupid and teenager-y, considering this is going to be my last chance."

I sighed, not even willing to argue with him.

After we had kissed, he had just pulled me into his arms, holding me tight against his chest. I had laid my head over his heart and closed my eyes, praying that his heart would keep beating over the next couple of days.

There had been no more words exchanged, nothing more said to complicate what we had already complicated. It was just one more piece to the puzzle clicking into place.

"I would vote tattoo. Dying your hair will be pointless when we're disgustingly dirty in the next couple of days, and there is a lack of cliffs here to jump off of."

Gale jumped up, deftly pulling his leg out of the window and bounding over to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door and back down the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

"If I'm going to be an irresponsible teenager tonight, then so are you."

Cinna and Portia were in the sitting room, watching some show about fashion on the television and making comments and notes. Haymitch was playing a one-person game of cards, and Effie was touching up her make-up in a hand-held mirror.

Cinna looked over his shoulder at us, his eyes zeroing in on our clasped hands. I rolled my eyes at him and his smile got even larger. For some reason, he must have seen that there had been a shift, one so quiet I almost didn't notice it.

"What's up with you two?"

I shot a look at Gale, planting one of my hands on hip and looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Gale just rolled his eyes at me and said, "I was wondering if you could give us a tattoo."

Whatever Cinna was expecting, it clearly wasn't that; then again, not much fazed Cinna, so he just raised an eyebrow before getting up and coming over to us. Effie and Haymitch looked up when they heard Gale's request, but they didn't say anything.

Motioning with a quick jerk of his hand, he lead us out into the hall, down another one, and into a set of private rooms I assumed were his.

"Do I want to know why you decided to get tattoos?"

Gale shrugged, a sly smile still on his face.

"We might not get the chance to be reckless teenagers anymore, not that we ever were before. I just wanted to do something like this."

Cinna smiled, motioning for us to sit down on the comfortable looking chairs in the sitting room.

I took the moment to look around the room, every single thing I saw making it all the more clear to me that these were Cinna's private rooms. Decorated in sophisticated golds and bronze with heavy, leather furniture, it was very clearly a place Cinna would call home. Books were everywhere, piled on the ground and on shelves. Some of them were heavy and bound in leather, some of them bright and covered in glitter. I could tell which ones were his design books, as they had pieces of doodled on paper stick out of them.

Despite myself, I found myself becoming more enthusiastic about Gale's plan. He was right in a way; he and I had never had the chance to be immature, irresponsibly selfish teenagers.

"Do you have any idea what kind of tattoo you would want?"

Gale shrugged, turning to me. I looked down at our entwined hands, and in a flash of brilliance, I knew what I wanted.

"Is there anyway you can make a tattoo on our hands," I raised them up, my small hand still entwined with Gale's huge one, "that connect and complete each other when we hold hands?"

Cinna's smile grew even wider, and Gale squeezed my hand a little tighter, making me feel like I made the best choice. I wasn't that great with emotions, so it must have made him feel better to know I was thinking of us.

Us. Huh…there had never been a us before. I found myself smiling, liking how the world felt in my mind.

Cinna grabbed a sketchpad, one of many that were littered around the room, a small pencil, and said, "Let's get started then."

oOoOoOoOoOo

I drifted around the room, skirting the stacks of books and just read the titles with some sort of detached interest. I had already gotten my part of the tattoo painted on my hand. It didn't hurt at all, not like I expected when I saw the needle in Cinna's hand.

Cinna had experimented with a couple of colors, getting the one he liked just right. My entire right hand was covered in flames patterns, a bright ice-blue color. Gale's was going to be in a deep orange-red, matching his bright, hot inner fire.

My eyes were drawn to a book that was open on the floor, and I picked it up and scanned the words with some interest.

The words were printed with gray ink on thick paper, in a different language. It sounded old when I pronounced them in my mind, somewhat heavy and other-worldy.

"Those are a collection of sayings written in Latin, a language from before Panem, even before our world passed. I was lucky to get that book; a friend of mine had helped me pledge for it at an auction," Cinna said, somehow able to have crept up behind me without making a sound.

I pointed to one that had caught my eye and said, "What does that one mean?"

Cinna leaned closer and smiled, his eyes sparkling a little.

"That one reminds me a little of you. 'Inveniam Viam' means 'I will find a way.'"

Gale came over then, looking over my shoulder as well.

"Which one reminds you of me?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Cinna reached over and took the book from my hands, gently turning the thin pages before pointing to two other words. "Gale, you strike me as more 'Acheronto Movebo.' It means 'I will raise hell.'"

Gale caught my eye and smiled. In one graceful arch of his eyebrow, I knew what he was asking.

I turned to Cinna, and asked, "What kind of calligraphy do you have for tattoos?"

Cinna smiled, placing the book down on the chair before reaching for another one of his sketchbooks.

"I thought you would never ask."

* * *

**A/N: Brownie points to whoever can tell me where those Latin quotations came from :) Here's a hint: it's another book series with a snarky blond guy. The tattoos may seem a little random, but they do serve a purpose later on in the story! Thank you all so much for the reviews! Next chapter, we're in the games! Please keep reviewing!**


	9. Chapter 9

_This is our last goodbye…it's over, just hear this and then I'll go; you gave me more to live for then you'll ever know. _

_-Unknown_

**Chapter Soundtrack: **All We Are - OneRepublic **&** Fallen - Imagine Dragons

* * *

Cinna and Portia came and got us before dawn.

Gale had snuck into my room last night, but it was different. His face, which had been happy and smiling before when we were getting our tattoos, was drawn and pale, his jaw clenched so hard I could almost hear his teeth grinding. He had grabbed me as soon as I was done getting dressed, entwining our tattooed hands, my right and his left matching up perfectly.

That night, we slept curled together like spoons. My head rested right under his collarbone, his heart beating a soothing tempo under my ear. His broad hands pressed against my back, holding me to him tightly. I knew without him saying anything that he was desperate for reassurance that we were still alive. Right before we fell asleep, I felt him tracing the words that had been tattooed right below my ribs.

Cinna's face was drawn and sad when he shook us awake. Gale's face was blank, but he leaned down and kissed my forehead gently before being pulled out of the room by Portia.

Cinna brought me to the top of the building, where the other tributes were standing. We were loaded like cattle into a hovercraft, and then off we went.

Cinna and I sat alone in one of the rooms, the windows blackened to keep the tributes from seeing where we were going.

When we got to the Launching Rooms, Cinna brought me to a small one with a twelve painted on the door. Before he opened it, he sighed, turning to me with irritation in his eyes.

"Before you freak out, I want you to know I was forced into this."

I was getting a little concerned until he opened the door and I saw who was standing there.

I turned to Cinna, betrayal in my eyes, but he just shook his head minutely, warning me not to say anything that might be considered 'traitorous.'

"You have only a little while. Then you need to get prepped and ready for the games."

The door shut behind me, locking me in a tight space with Cato.

He was dressed in just a white shirt and gray pajama pants, like I was. We weren't going to get our clothes for the arena until just before launching. On his wrist was the bracelet I made him, and his hair was tousled like he had just rolled out of bed. Most telling though, was the defeated slump to his shoulders and the darkened circles under his eyes.

He looked…exhausted. There was no other word for it. He looked like a twenty-five year old man, not the eighteen year old boy he really was.

I mentally steeled myself - I couldn't, _wouldn't_, have any pity for this boy, even though my heart hurt for him - and turned to him with a flat voice.

"What do you want?"

Cato looked at me, his eyes blank. They focused somewhere over my shoulder, and his words came out flat, but with hidden emotion I couldn't name.

"When I left District Twelve for the last time, for once, I wasn't thinking of winning the Games for the honor of my District. I wasn't thinking of using my training the way I had been told to. Because for once in my damn life, I thought about winning for someone else."

His eyes focused on mine, and this time I could tell what emotion was flickering behind his eyes. Longing. Hope. Wistfulness.

"They break us down and remake us into weapons and soldiers, but even weapons and soldiers need to have a motivation…even one as pathetic as honor. But I never bought into it. My motivation was to go into the Games, to win, to go back to District Twelve and find the girl who taught me that even though they tried to beat it out of me, I was still human."

When he reached out for my hand, my instinct yelled at me to bolt, to run away from this boy who was making things way too complicated. But I still reached out, and let him lace his fingers through mine.

"I don't expect anything from you. I was stupid to think that those days ten years ago meant anything to you now, not after everything you had to go through. But…I can't be the Career they expect me to be. I won't be. If I'm going to go into that arena, I'm going to do it my way."

He tugged a bit of my hair that had fallen into my face, and I bit my lip hard. This wasn't what I had expected to happen when I saw him in this room.

"I'm not going to offer you a spot in the Career pack, because I know you wouldn't accept it. But you need to go north immediately. I can keep them away from you, but not for too long. Just promise me something."

I didn't open my mouth, but he took my silence as an acceptance.

He reached to his bracelet and pulled it off, forced to wrap it around my wrist twice before buttoning it because his arms were so much thicker than mine were.

"When you win," he didn't say "if," something that made my throat close up a little, "And you go on the Victory Tour…give this to my brother, Marcus. Let him know I love him. And if…if he's reaped when he's older, please…please try to help him."

He doesn't even wait for me to react, just kisses my forehead - just like Gale did - and walks out the door, quiet and soft…but right before he left, he whispered over his shoulder, "You gave me more to live for than you'll ever know."

Then he left, leaving me with demons I thought I had put to rest.

* * *

Cinna slips into the room when Cato leaves, his eyes finding mine. He doesn't say anything about how my face must look, or the new bracelet on my wrist. All he does is open his arms and I go into them.

Cinna is like the older brother I never had (and he really could be my older brother, he's only seven years older than me), and his embrace is comforting. I cling to him desperately, hoping somehow he can help me ease this emotional burden I had been given.

"You're going to be fine. Focus on getting through the bloodbath. Do what Haymitch told you, stick close to Gale. Don't let anything Cato said screw with you head, do you hear me?"

I nodded helplessly against his shoulder, letting him hold me tighter.

"You're going to be fine," he repeated, almost like he was trying to convince himself of the same thing.

When we finally pull away from each other, he helps me into the standard uniform - only difference is that my jacket is black, something I'm sure I'll be thankful for later on - and he zips me into my jacket before pinning my Mockingjay pin in-between the two layers of fabric. My bracelet is hidden under my sleeve, and I try to ignore how it feels almost like a shackle.

Cinna takes my hand in his, the same one he tattooed last night. His fingers trace the lines while we wait.

All too soon, a voice comes over the loudspeaker.

"Stylists, please escort your tribute to the launching tubes."

He sighs before helping me up and leading me to the clear tube in the corner. He opens the door but before he helps me in he whispers in my ear, "Remember Katniss…I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, I would bet on you."

Cinna kisses my cheek gently, the same way Prim does when she leaves my side to go to class, and then I'm in the glass tube with my hand pressed against his through the glass. His eyes never leave mine, even when the plate in the tube rises and I'm thrust into the arena.

The light is a little blinding, but when it clears, my heart both jumps and sinks.

It jumps because right next to me is Gale - they didn't separate us.

It sinks because I'm also right next to Cato, who is looking at me with a look I cannot describe or understand.

I turn away from them, using the sixty seconds before we're allowed off the platforms to look around the arena.

There are woods everywhere, something I am very grateful for. This is a place where Gale and I flourish. We're going to be okay.

I turn to Gale and his eyes flicker a little to my left. I follow his eyes and see what he sees; a small backpack with a silver bow and quiver of arrows leaning against it. Beyond it is another backpack with a gold bow and another quiver or arrows.

I turn back to him, happiness radiating from almost every bone in my body.

We must have done something the Capitol or the Gamemakers liked, because they obviously put those two very expensive gifts where Gale and I could grab them easily.

I turned back to the large numbers in the sky as I counted down with them.

_10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5…_

I tensed, crouching down low and raised my arms, totally prepared to sprint for the bow and arrows. Gale can overtake me easily, I'll let him get to the first bow quickly so he can watch my back. These were sprinting distances we were made for, distances we would be able to overtake easily.

My eyes flash over to the little girl, the one I can't help but compare to Rue, and see her looking at me. She smiles a little weak smile, before turning on her platform to face the forest.

_4…_

My whole family's faces flash before my eyes, and I raise a silent prayer that I'm going to make them proud.

_3…_

I hope Prim can forgive me for leaving her behind. She won't have her sister to help her get ready for her wedding (which I'm starting to suspect is going to be to Rory), but she'll have her 'then-almost-offical-big-brother' to walk her down the aisle.

_2…_

Posy's face swims up in my memories too, her cloud of red hair and her bright eyes, and I hope that she knows how much I love her.

_1..._

The cannon booms, and I'm off.

Adrenaline is pouring through my veins; out of the corner of my eye, I see Cato sprint right past me, not even sparing me a glance. Rue managed to make it to the tree line, a small drawstring pack clutched in one of her tiny hands.

Gale overtook me, but his hands grab the silver bow quickly, the pack and quiver following over his shoulders as he strings an arrow, watching my back as I grab the gold one and the backpack and then we're in the trees before half of the Careers are at the cornucopia.

Without any words exchanged, the two of us are running deep into the forest as quickly and quietly as deer, avoiding twigs and branches that would make noise and give away our position.

Because of our stronger bodies, we can keep up a light jog (which might be considered a run to other people) for a long time. We go down and up hills before we end up in a valley about five miles from the cornucopia. Then we stop, slowing, keeping an eye out.

I let out a long breath, allowing myself to bask in the knowledge that we're alive.

Gale's eyes meet mine, and I know he's thinking the same thing.

Without preamble or any other useless words, he dips down and pecks my lips quickly, throwing one of his arms over my shoulder and his fingers play with the end of my braid.

"We made it Catnip."

I smile at him, letting the tension drain out of my shoulders for one moment.

"Let's see what we have in our packs, and then we can keep going for a little while…find someplace save to rest."

I sling my backpack off my shoulders, sending up a thankful prayer to the heavens that my backpack, and Gale's, are camouflage colors.

Absentmindedly, I say out loud, "I hope that little girl from District Eleven made it out alright."

Gale pauses from where he had been untangling the ties to his backpack, and his eyes meet mine.

I see what he didn't say, how he, like me, sees our little sisters in that girl. The poor little girl who was the big sister and had no one to protect her, to volunteer for her.

"Would you like to allies then?"

Gale and I whirl around, but our hands don't touch weapons.

Hanging up in the trees more than thirty feet above us is the little girl, Rue.

Gale smiles, a genuine smile, one he gives to his little siblings if they do something amusing.

I smile too, reaching out a hand and motioning for her to come down.

"Of course."

She smiles, her little shoulders dropping with relief. It was clear she was ready to fly away at a moments notice. It breaks my heart a little that she should be so guarded now.

She drops down, quick and graceful as a hummingbird. In no time at all she's on the floor next to us, her curly head just brushing the bottom of my ribcage.

She takes off her little drawstring pack and pulls out an extra jacket that would brush the floor on her, a small bundle of twin, a sling-shot, and a small packet of dried beef and a water bottle.

Gale whistles appreciatively, crouching down so he's one eye level with her. "Good haul. Can you help us look through ours?"

Rue nods her head quickly, her curls bouncing everywhere.

Our backpacks hold sleeping bags made of the same material as our jackets, and Gale's holds more twine for his snares. He waves it at me with a cheeky grin and I had to laugh. We each have water bottles, but no water, and a small collection of dried fruit, crackers, and meat. At the very bottom of my bag, I find a small drawstring bag, and when I open it I blush extremely hard and then drop it back into the bottom of my bag, refusing to tell Gale what it is.

"I'm just going to sneak into your bag and find out what it is."

"I wouldn't Gale."

He was going to argue, but then we hear a noise and then the three of us are taking off again.

Rue keeps pace with us easily, but I could tell Gale was tampering it down a little for her - she only came up to his waist, her legs were much shorter than his. She was such a small girl…she looked so much younger than her twelve years.

The three of us jog through the woods, stopping at a river and filling our water bottles, leaving iodine in it to purify it.

The silence between us is companionable, and somewhere along the way I feel Rue's little hand slip into mine. It's so much like how I held Prim and Posy's hands walking to and from school that I just tighten my fingers around hers and help her over a particularly large log.

I try not to think about how stupid I'm being; I can't start caring for this little girl, not when I plan to send my best friend, my better half, home.

But looking down at Rue, I know deep in my heart I made the right decision. She deserves to live just as much as Gale does, and I know he would never forgive me if I had drawn an arrow and shot Rue.

So for the second time in my life, I decide to just put faith up in the air and pray that somehow something works out.

* * *

**A/N: This was more a filler chapter than anything else, but don't worry, next one is chock full of action, romance, and humor. I'm already halfway done with it, it might be up by Monday. Butttttttttt tomorrow (August 10th) is my birthday, and the BEST gift you guys can give me is reviews :) I would really appreciate it! Thank you so much for the lines you already dropped, they make my day. I was in a rush to get this up for you guys so please excuse any grammar issues or holes in my writing. Thanks again, and please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

_Better stand tall when they're calling you out_

_Don't bend_

_Don't break_

_Baby don't back down_

_- "It's My Life," Bon Jovi_

**Chapter Soundtrack**: Burn - Ellie Goulding **&** Clarity (feat. Foxes) - Zedd

* * *

That night, after the seal was in the sky and the cannons boomed and we saw who died today - the girl from District Three, the boy from District Four, both from Five (which surprised me, the redheaded girl struck me as someone very sly), Six, and Seven, and the boys from Eight and Nine - Gale, Rue and I scaled a tall willow tree, the fronds perfect for hiding us.

Rue curled up in the extra jacket. I pulled the drawstrings at the bottom and it was a perfect little sleeping back for her. Gale claimed first watch, perched on one of the highest branches that would support his weight.

Rue curled into my side, her curls tickling my chin a little. I had a hand on a knife tucked into my boot, but my other arm was wrapped around her shoulders, proving more warmth and a (hopefully) comforting presence.

"Go to sleep Catnip. I'll be fine," Gale whispered, careful not to wake Rue.

I unclenched my hand from around my knife and held it out; he slipped his hand into it and squeezed it comfortingly. Only then did I allow my head to fall on top of Rue's and let sleep take me.

I had only been asleep for about three hours when three things made me wake up: Gale's hand clenching around mine, the sound of someone near us, and the slight whimper of fear Rue breathed out into my shoulder.

As slowly as I could, I pulled my hand from Gale's and slipped the knife off out of my boot. My quiver was on my back and my bow was hooked on a branch near me, but it meant taking my arm off of Rue and by the way she was clinging to me that was obviously not going to happen.

I peered through the fronds of the willow tree and cursed under my breath. A tribute was about a hundred feet away from us and making a fire. In the middle of the night.

Jesus, how stupid where they? That was like throwing a flare up to the sky and shouting "Kill me now!" If you were cold, you curled up and found shelter wherever you could, you didn't do something like this!

Gale eyes flashed a little in the light. He was feeling the same way, but his hands were just tight on his bow, his shoulders pushed back and his body tensed to defend us.

I don't know how long we stayed like that…only that the fire was almost dead when the Careers finally came.

Rue turns her head into my chest and I try to cover her head with my arm. She doesn't need to hear this, or see it.

The tribute, a girl judging by the voice, begs them to spare her life.

"Aww, is the little baby crying? Guess District Eight isn't going to have a victor this year." A sugar sweet voice calls. I frown, but Gale's slight mouthing tells me it's the girl from District One…Glimmer I think is her name.

There is a piercing scream, the girl begging for her life. I cringe back, trying to make myself smaller. Gale's face gets tighter and tighter, to the point that he looks like a marble statue that might crack and shatter into a million pieces.

Finally, a voice cuts through all the screaming and malicious laughter. It's Cato's, and his sounds tight with some sort of emotion. I couldn't see his face, so I didn't know if it was because he was getting bored or because he might have felt some sort of remorse for the crying girl.

"Come on Glimmer. Let's just get it over with, she's scaring off any other tributes who might be here."

Oh, if only he knew.

"Fine, ruin my fun."

There is one more long, drawn out scream before the sound of a knife whirling through the air and the cannon ring out. Gale and I stare through the fronds and see the party parade past. I recognize most of the tributes in the Career party. Glimmer and Marvel from District One, Cato and Clove from District Two, the boy from Three and the girl from Four. All in all, it's a pretty big group this year, normally they keep it down to four people but they had six this year.

They pass by the trees, laughing and carrying on like it was a movie, not some real girl's life that had just been ended.

We stay in tensed positions for about twenty minutes after they leave before we relax. I loosen my arm from around Rue, and her large eyes peer out, capturing the moonlight and making her look otherworldly.

All night-life quiets down and a hovercraft comes and pulls the body of the District Eight girl out of the arena. I feel a rush of pity for her, even though she did sign her own death warrant. No one - except for maybe Snow - deserved to die like that.

"We'll stay here until sunrise, and then we can leave," Gale whispered out loud, more for Rue's benefit. I knew what he was planning before he even said anything.

"I'll take next watch. Get some sleep."

Gale didn't protest; the two of us switched positions. Rue curled into Gale's side and he rested an arm over her. It was so funny. She was so small Gale's arm was probably as long as she was tall.

I watched until Gale's breathing became deep and even and then I climbed the tree higher, careful not to rustle too much. I found a perfect little fork about five feet from the top and perched myself there, keeping an arrow drawn.

There was no other sounds around us, other than the chirping of birds and the general rustling you hear in the forest. Peering down, I saw the two identical dark heads leaning against each other and I had to smile.

Gale had always wanted children. I knew it deep down, even though he had never said anything. Gale had too big of a heart to not wish for children. I saw how sweet he was with Prim and Posy and how calming he was to Rory and Vick. All the Seam children knew Gale, and loved him because he would throw them up in the air and then catch them before spinning them around. Many girls had prayed that he would chose them to be the mother to his children.

I had never liked hearing that talk because Gale had always seem to been _mine_. He was _my_ hunting partner, _my_ best friend, _my_ confident, and _my_ support system. He was my better half. I had tried telling myself the reason I didn't like those girls was because a good hunting partner was hard to find, but I knew deep down it was because I was afraid one day he would chose a girl who could give him the family he wanted.

And that girl wouldn't be me.

I had made it clear that I hadn't wanted children, didn't want to raise them, love them only to have them torn away from me because of the Games.

Gale was really the only one I depended on. I had depended on my father, needed him and he was torn away from me. I had needed my mother to be a mother, but she conked out and left me on my own. I learned the hard way not to trust people, not to need them.

I mean, I loved. I loved Prim deeply, as I did with Posy, Rory and Vick. But in all reality, Prim was a child I had raised myself. I had been the one to comfort her nightmares, brush her hair in the morning, make sure she had lunch even if I had to do without. I had been the one to mend clothes and braid hair. I was more her mother than our mother was, even after she had started to come back. I was still the one Prim went to when there was a problem, when she was scared or afraid.

Maybe that's why I reached out to Rue so easily. I was so used to mothering that it was natural for me to bring her close to my side and protect her.

Huh. Maybe Gale was right when he told me that I had more maternal instincts than I gave myself credit for.

I shook myself out of my musings and checked the skyline. There were hints of the sun, so I slowly slipped down the tree, past the two sleeping and fell silently to the base of the tree. We needed to keep our supplies up, so I might as well hunt a little.

Without straying too far from the tree, I managed to shoot two rabbits and one bird like creature that looked a little like a turkey with white feathers.

I stored the feathers in my pocket in case I needed to make more arrows, skinned the animals, and climbed back up the tree.

Gale was awake, his eyes following me with humor. I stuck my tongue out at him because I knew he was mentally comparing me to a squirrel, something he brought up a lot at home. He let out a low chuckle, the movement of his chest waking Rue.

"Come on. We can use the fire the girl used to cook the meat and then we can head out."

"Is that groosling?"

"Is that what it was called?"

"Did it have white feathers?"

I showed Rue the feathers in my pocket and she smiled at me.

"We have those in District Eleven. Sometimes, near Harvest the Peacekeepers will let us hunt them. They're good meat."

I exchanged a look with Gale. We both thought that in District Eleven they would have a little more food since they worked with it.

Rue must have read our expression because she shrugged while folding her jacket up neatly.

"We don't get extra food. If you're caught with some you're whipped."

The way she said it made me think it was a common occurrence, like it was common in District Twelve for someone to die during the winter months.

Gale shot me another look and I knew what he was planning.

After cooking the meat in the embers of the fire (Gale and I knew all too well what happens if you eat raw rabbit), and I plopped half of the groosling in front of Rue. The look on her face made my insides fly and crunch all at the same time.

"I can eat all of this?"

Gale and I split the other part of the groosling and half a rabbit, tucking the other one inside a pack.

"Of course. There's more than enough for us here, and you need to keep up your strength."

Rue dug into her meal with gusto as we walked, making sure she didn't drop any. It was so funny to see this tiny girl pack away what would have been a large meal for any teenage boy.

We wandered around a little, making sure to keep the Cornucopia to our backs. The last thing we needed was for the Careers to show up. Most of the time they tended to stick close to their supplies and always returned to it at night.

The beginnings of a plan were forming in my mind when a twig snapped.

In less than three seconds, Rue was climbing a tree with Gale guarding her back. I pressed my back against his, both of us watching with baited breath as someone came through the tree line.

Thresh looked at us with a blank face, hands up in the air to show us that he wasn't here to hurt us.

We stared at each other in silence before he cracked, asking in a deep baritone, "Do you know where Rue is? Is she safe?"

I smiled a little at him, lifting my head to direct his stare. He looked up and actually smiled when he saw Rue perched high up in the tree, her tiny frame able to go almost to the top.

"Hey Little Jay."

"Hey Thresh."

She scrambled down until she was about twenty feet above Thresh before dropping, his arms coming up to wrap around her and then lower her to the ground. It was a motion that showed they had been familiar before the games, like how Gale and I could communicate without talking.

Gale still had a firm grip on his bow, but I decided to go out on a limb. I didn't think Thresh would kill us; his refusal to be with the Careers, to play the games on anyone else's terms but his own, his clear caring for Rue, all made me stick my hand out and say, "Allies?"

Thresh stared at my hand, but then a little prompt - in the form of Rue's bony elbow in his side - made him reach out and shake mine. His hand was huge, rough from a tough life of working a plow and strong, but he was gentle in his shake.

"Allies."

oOoOoOoOoOo

Rue and I stood side by side and tried to hold back laughter and sighs of exasperation.

Gale and Thresh were still wary of each other. I had claimed first watch that night when we had found a safe clearing to stay in. Rue had decided she wanted to sleep in a tree like she did last time, but Gale decided to stay on the ground and so did Thresh. They both were tip-toeing around each other now. When one made a jerky move, the other's eyes flashed up to watch them.

Finally, I had had enough of their glaring of each other, so I cracked a stick loudly with my foot. Rue actually did laugh when they both jumped and turned to look at me.

"I'm going to be in the tree with Rue. God knows you two will kick or punch someone if they make a sudden move. Please try to sleep, because I'm not going to let you skip out of watch duty."

Rue was waiting for me in a forked branch, a small pile of sticks and pinecones in her hands and a mischievous smile on her mouth.

"We're going to mess with them?"

I smiled right back at her before taking a pinecone from the pile.

"You've read my mind Little Jay."

* * *

**A/N: Y'all are so lucky I managed to update this! I'm trying to stick to my schedule for updating cause I know I'm not going to be able to when I go back to school. I'm sorry to say this is going to be the last update of Ashes and Dust for the week, but there will be more on Monday. Thank you so much for all the reviews, it makes my day! A lot of you are getting protective over Cato, making sure he won't die a gruesome death. But who says he's even going to die? CLIFFHANGER! Please keep dropping me lines! I want to know what you guys think about Thresh joining the alliance and all the deep, internal thoughts Katniss had this chapter. Please ignore grammar mistakes, I didn't have time to check this over! Please drop a line and thank you for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

_"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage."_

_-Lucius Annaeus Seneca_

**Chapter Soundtrack**: All We Are - OneRepublic **&** Fallen - Imagine Dragons

* * *

When Rue and I dropped down from the tree, we were met with glares from the two boys. Rue and I couldn't stop laughing, and the glares only got worse. Soon Rue and I were on the ground, laughing so hard we were silently gasping for air with tears running down our cheeks.

Throughout the night Rue and I had flicked sticks and pinecones at random intervals at the two of them. Because they were wound so tightly, every time one hit they would jump and look around. I felt a little bad about toying with them like that, but the opportunity was too good to pass up. I'm sure the Capitol loved the humor as well.

"Little Jay - " Thresh started, looking both annoyed and happy to see her happy at the same time.

Gale had no such qualms. He stalked over to me and picked me up so I was cradled in his arms like a child. I knew what he was going to do, so I immediately tried to stop laughing and push away from him.

"Gale Hawthorne, don't you dare!"

"What are you gonna do about it Catnip?"

We were almost at the river now. He threw me, but he didn't count on my hands pulling him in with me. The two of us came up spluttering, and I dunked him back under as soon as he popped up next to me.

"You jackass!"

"You're the one who kept us up all night! And not the way I would wish, thank you very much!"

My wet hair plastered to my face hid my blush, but I just dunked him one more time before heading to the shore. I was almost there, but then Gale's arms were around my waist, pulling me back so I was pressed to him, back to front.

"God Catnip, I can feel your blush. Whoosh," he teased, dipping his head down and planting a kiss on the side of my neck. My breath hitched a little; no one who was watching would have seen but Gale, who was always able to read me like an open book, laughed and hugged me to him tighter. I left myself relax the tinniest fraction to rest against him, but then hauled myself out of the water.

"I swear to God, if you pull me back in I'm going to do more than dunk you," I hissed when I reached a hand out to help Gale back up onto the banks.

Gale laughed, but he hauled himself onto the bank as well, shaking his head like a dog and splashing more water on me. The deadpanned look I gave him made him laugh again before we started walking back to Thresh and Rue.

Rue was laughing at both of us when we stopped in, dripping wet and slightly pissed off. She was currently being held upside down over Thresh's shoulder. Even when he was sitting down her head was about two feet off the ground.

"Let's dry off and then we can hunt for some food and figure out our next move," Gale said. I nodded and proceeded to take off my jacket, which was already almost dry, and then my shirt, leaving me in nothing but my camisole and bra. My pants quickly followed, the tight shorts that doubled as underwear the only thing keeping my entire body from being bared to the cameras.

There was silence, and as I worked my fingers through my now-loose braid I peered over my shoulder.

Gale's mouth was slightly open and his gray eyes had darkened like storm clouds. Thresh raised an eyebrow at my impromptu strip, and Rue just looked confused.

I had always been kind of squeamish and pure when it came to nudity and wounds. Prim and my mom were always the healers, and I was always just the assistant that would blush and tremble through everything.

But right now, I found myself in no shame about my body ever since the Capitol. After being naked in front of Octavia, Flavius and Venia and Cinna, I had little self-consciousness yet. I knew I wasn't pretty and curvy like all the other Town girls. Starvation and hard work hunting kept my body from every really putting on weight to my breasts like other girls. I was in peak shape, but I wasn't soft.

Judging from the looks Gale was giving me, I would have safety assume he didn't care about that.

"What does that mean?" Rue said, pointing to my tattoo right underneath my ribs, visible through the wet fabric of my camisole.

I smiled at her, pulling on a spare pare of pants and then yanking a spare shirt from Gale's bag. It was huge on my smaller frame, but I tucked it into my pants and just hoped for the best.

"I got the tattoo in the Capitol from my stylist, Cinna. He designed the calligraphy. It's in an old language from before Panem, even before those before us. It means 'I will find a way.'"

Rue wiggled a little and Thresh let her down gently, and she reached out for my hands. I let her turn my tattooed one over in her own small hands and said, "Is this the matching one for Gale's?"

Gale, who was now shirtless (I had to forcibly keep my eyes from staring at him) and Rue pointed to the script flowing over his left shoulder blade. He crouched down so Rue could see it.

"Mine means 'I will raise hell.' The flame marks on Katniss' hand matches the ones on mine. It was to keep a part of the other close."

He smiled softly over Rue's head and I smiled back at him before shrugging back into my jacket. Gale stripped quickly and got changed into new clothes. A shirt from his pack fit him better than it fit me, stretching over his broad shoulders and wiry muscles.

Thresh, who had been silent the whole time, said in his blunt, deep voice, "I'm sorry."

We all looked at him, and he stood up with hidden agility.

"I'm sorry you two were best friends and that you were stuck in here together. I'm sorry this happened to you."

I tensed a little, knowing he was walking into dangerous territory with these kind of remarks, but I was thankful. Without thinking, I reached over and hugged him lightly around the waist. He stiffened too, but I pulled back before I made him too uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry too Thresh. But this knucklehead needs someone to look after him so he doesn't get caught in his own snare trap. Again."

Gale hissed at me, blushing faintly. "One time…one time and you will never let me live it down!"

Thresh chuckled, and Rue's light, tinkling laugh made me feel lighter.

We were in the Hunger Games, and we all might die, but I found myself laughing along with my newfound friends.

I felt hatred at the Capitol well up in my chest. They were taking me away from my family, they were going to kill me. They were going to change Gale when he left this damn arena. They were killing Thresh and Rue, two innocents for their own entertainment and the blood they felt they deserved from our ancestors.

But I found myself smiling again as Rue danced through the trees.

They could do all of that to us, but they couldn't take something like this away. I might never be able to see someone from District Eleven again, but I knew that I would always care about them. The Capitol wasn't going to beat the humanity from me. I was going to love and protect Rue and Thresh, because it was something _good_ I could do.

And try as they might, the Capitol will never be able to destroy _good._

* * *

"RUN!"

I jerked, almost tumbling from my perch on the tree branch, but I managed to catch myself. Rue, who had been sleeping in the sleeping bag next to me, jerked as well, but her eyes quickly saw what Thresh was yelling about and she screamed.

Gale was standing under the tree, and with little warning I grabbed Rue and threw her. She dropped into Gale's arms and he pushed her forward with Thresh, who was standing there, conflict visible in his eyes. He wanted to run from the wall of fire rushing at us, but he didn't want to leave us behind.

Gale shouted at Thresh, "Get her out of here! We'll meet up later!"

Thresh didn't argue, just grabbed Rue's hand and pulled her through the forest, animals running around with them.

I jumped out of the tree, my backpack settled between my shoulder blades. Gale grabbed my hand, and the two of us sprinted, the wall of fire following with frightening speed.

The smoke choked me, filling my mind with visions of mine collapses and my father, deep beneath the surface of the earth, dead from an explosion.

Like father, like daughter, I would leave this world in flames as well.

Gale tightened his grip on my hand, the comforting feel enough to push me to run faster.

There was a whistling sound behind me, and I shouted out "Duck!" just in time for a fireball to sail right where Gale's left shoulder would have been.

Goddamnit, they were going to use the fire against us, weren't they?

Gale yanked me out of the way of another projectile, one that would have gotten me in the small of my back. We stumbled through the smoke and trees, trying desperately to get out of this mess.

Pain lanced up my left thigh and I went down. Gale was dragged with me, but he didn't stop. He just looped my arm around his neck and threw his other around my waist to help me support my weight, and the two of us crashed through the woods some more.

Eventually, we came across a large lake, the river continuing down the other end. We tumbled into it, the water clearing away the smoke and soot in our eyes. The two of us were all too used to this, with mine explosions happening maybe once or twice a year. Not all of them were as devastating as the ones that took our fathers, but they were enough to coat smoke and smog all over the Seam.

Once I managed to get my breath back, I turned back to Gale and had to hold back a gasp.

There was a small burn across his face, running from just behind his ear to the bottom of his chin. The blister wasn't as bad as some of the others I had seen, but it was pretty bad.

"Come here," I commanded. He looked like he was going to argue with me, but I shot him my best "Mom" look and he relented.

I gently tried to clean it out with my sleeve and some water, but the slight tightening of his jaw told me that I was just hurting him more.

He looked me up and down, his hands grasping my shoulders like I was suddenly going to disappear.

"Are you okay? How is your leg? I heard you yelp when the fireball hit."

Up until that moment, I hadn't felt any pain in my thigh. Now that he mentioned it and my adrenaline-filled brain focused more, I felt the pain deep to the bone, like the flaming projectile had gone straight through my leg. I was almost afraid to look, but I did anyway, keeping a firm grip on Gale's hand.

The blisters were worse than Gale's by far. They were red, filled with blood and clear liquid, my skin so burnt and bubbled that I had lost feeling in it now that I was in the water.

The look on Gale's face told me that he was just as concerned as I was.

There was a crashing noise in the woods, and my eyes shot up to meet someone else's.

Cato was standing there in shock, his sword clasped loosely in his hand. He had burns up and down his arms, and his hair was looking more brown than blond now because of all the soot and smoke in the air. There was more crashing behind him, but he mouthed one word to us, still standing unmoving on the bank of the little inlet, desperation carved into every line of his face.

_Run._

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**A/N: Guys, the reviews blew me away! I worked really hard on this chapter, and I worked out the outline for this story. There are going to be (baring any complications or sudden strikes of muses) twenty three chapters with two chapters of outtakes after that, bringing the grand total of chapters up to twenty five. I'm excited for you guys to see the twists and turns I have for this story! Please keep reviewing, it means so much to me and it makes the chapters longer for you! Do you think we can get to 100 before the next update? Love you all lots!**


	12. Chapter 12

_"We'll never survive!"_

_"Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has."_

_-William Goldman, The Princess Bride_

**Chapter Soundtrack**: Better Than Me - Hinder **&** Samson - Regina Spektor **& **Shattered (Turn the Car Around) - O.A.R.

* * *

Gale didn't waste any time. He yanked me out of the water and the two of us were sprinting, the pain in my leg covered up by the sudden jerk of adrenaline into my already over-taxed system.

The sounds of the Career pack made me sprint faster. There was no way we could outrun them.

Even though we were back in the part of the forrest that had been burning, none of the trees were blackened. I launched myself at one, scurrying up like a squirrel. I settled on the high branches, looking around to spot Gale on the other side of the small clearing, on a tree just as tall but with thicker branches to support his larger frame.

Times like these I was extremely thankful for our ability to communicate without talking.

Less than three seconds after we were safely up our trees, the entire Career group tumbled into the clearing. They look confused for a second, but they they spotted us up in different trees and then the jeering began.

Gale's eyes flashed to mine and I read his face as easily as a book. _Stay calm._

I raised an eyebrow at him. _Oh, cause we're in such a position to panic._

"Get her Cato!"

I jerked, peering down through the branches where Cato was slowly scaling the tree, his eyes locked on mine.

I didn't know what to do; it wouldn't be a good idea for me to climb any higher, not with my leg and the thinness of the branches. I could try jumping from this tree to the other, but if I fell, I would be as good as dead with the sharks waiting below.

My eyes jerked back down and saw Cato mouth four words to me.

"I won't hurt you."

I watched with baited breath as his hand slowly gripped a branch that looked half rotted. He caught my eyes and yanked on the branch, letting himself fall down and land on his back next to the Career's.

My eyes flew to Gale's, and the narrowing of his eyes and the look of murder in his shoulders and hands told me that he hadn't seen our little exchange - he seriously saw Cato as just another tribute who was going to kill me. I hadn't had the time - or the desire, if I was being honest with myself - to tell him the truth.

The Careers jeered at me, and Glimmer tried to throw some knives at me, but she was nowhere near as adept at it as Clove was. I caught District Two's female tribute's eyes, and she just cocked her head and looked a me. She winked, but didn't let her hands drift anywhere near her weapons.

What the heck was that?

Finally, Clove spoke up and hissed at them, "Just leave them up there. They're gonna have to come down sooner or later, it's that or starve to death."

The Career's complained but turned back to make camp under the two trees we were in. I sighed, settling back down against the tree and turned to look at Gale.

He already had himself tied in, leaning back in the same position as I was in. He smirked a little when he caught me looking, but I could read the hidden emotion in his eyes.

_You okay?_

I tilted my head a little to the right, a small shrug of my shoulders telling him _I'm fine. You?_

He rolled his eyes like it was joke that he might be hurt, but he smiled softly to soften the sarcasm.

I reached into my pack and held up a pack of dried fruit that we had been saving. He motioned his hand to his own pack, telling me he had his own. I settled down with my meager meal and looked to the sky.

Worry was prickling my stomach; had Rue and Thresh managed to get to safety? Were they worried about us too? I knew Thresh would take care of Rue, but I still worried about the both of them. In the short amount of time I had gotten to know the two of them, I started thinking of Thresh as the big, protective older brother I never had. And…against my better judgement, I started thinking about Rue as the little girl I would never have.

Thinking that thought out loud - well, in my head - to myself made me stiffen a little.

I had made it no secret that I would never have children, even though I had admitted to myself that I wanted them…with Gale.

It was so easy to bring Rue to my mind's eye and just change her eye color from the beautiful brown they were to the pale gray that Gale had. The thought of her as the child I would never have was like a punch in the gut, because I wanted it _so badly_ but seeing her die - and I was so conflicted now, because I wanted Gale to live but I didn't want Thresh or Rue to _die_ - would kill me inside, because it would be like losing our own daughter.

I pressed a finger to my temple to try and calm the thoughts dancing in my mind right now. Gale caught my eye and raised an eyebrow at me. I just sighed and shook my head, letting him know that he didn't need to worry about anything right now.

It was slowly getting dark, and we all looked up to the sky to see the Capitol's symbol floating in the air before the death toll came out.

First up was the girl from District Nine, followed by the girl and the boy from District Ten. The two from District Ten had partnered up, that I knew; the boy had a horrible limp from a crippled foot, and the girl might have tried to help him and they were both killed in the flames. My hand clenched, thinking of the poor children who were caught in the trap made for Gale and I.

Damn. That made everyone besides the main Career Pack and our little group of four the only ones left. More than half of the tributes done in less than three days.

Gale's blank face was back in place, but I knew he was thinking the same thing that I was.

Things were mounting, and we were only a hairsbreadth away from the entire situation exploding.

Shit was going to hit the fan soon, and there was nothing we could do.

oOoOoOoOoOo

In the middle of the night, I jerked awake, my hands automatically going to my bow and arrows. Gale had "talked" me out of shooting everyone in the clearing, because then it would put us right back down to Thresh, Rue, Gale, and I, and we didn't want that right yet.

I turned my head to the right and smiled a genuine smile when I saw who it was.

Rue was perched on a small branch in the tree next to me, crouched low and covered with leaves. She had a solemn look on her small face, and her tiny hand darted out to point to something about ten feet above my head.

A large shape was there, and I almost fell off my branch when I realized what it was.

Tracker-jackers were genetically engineered wasps; when they found a target, they kept following it, stinging them and leaving them with stings that swelled to the size of plums. Their venom caused severe hallucinations, and killed some whose systems were too weak to handle the onslaught of venom.

Gale and I had come across them a couple of times in the woods, when we really ventured out. We always made sure to give them a wide berth.

Rue pointed to the knife in my boot and made a sawing motion with her hands, and I smiled again at how brilliant she was.

The girl from District Four was supposed to be guarding my tree, and Glimmer, the seductive blond from District One was supposed to be guarding Gale's tree. I had see the look of disgust on his face when she started to come onto him from below and had to stifle a laugh.

Gale's eyes cut into mine, letting me know he was awake and he had seen the exchange. I pointed away from the group, letting Rue know she needed to get the hell away from here now.

She didn't look too happy at that, but with a quiet rustle of leaves she was flying from tree to tree, her small hands and feet finding little holds that never would have held my weight. We watched her leave, making sure she was far enough away before we put our little plan in motion.

The burn on my leg was still smarting, but I ignored it as best I could as I shimmied up the tree. I had my gear packed, but I knew I had to do one little thing before cutting down the nest.

Not giving myself time to think about this, or look at Gale, I strung an arrow and aimed it for just beside's Cato, who was sleeping well away from the others.

The arrow hit the ground next to him with a soft thump, but it was enough to wake him up. He jerked, his eyes going up to meet mine. I kept my face blank, but his face filled with understanding when he saw me poised by the nest. He nodded the tinniest fraction before turning and gathering his sword and bag, stepping over sleeping bodies with grace belonging to someone smaller than him and poked Clove in the shoulder. She jerked, her hands already on her knives, but one look at Cato was enough to get her up and moving. They disappeared into the trees, the darkness swallowing them.

I chanced a small look out of the corner of my eye to Gale, who was lower on the branches now. His face was set in tight lines, and I knew I was going to get it later when we were alone. If I was being honest with myself, I knew I deserved it. I had kept the whole Cato mess away from Gale because I didn't think he needed to know, but now, when Cato and Clove had done so much to help us, I couldn't just drop a nest on them and leave them to die.

The smoke of the fires must have made the tracker-jackers more calm, because there was almost no buzzing noise when I started sawing gently with the serrated edges of the knife.

My father had taught me how to sharpen sticks and use the right angle of the blade. He had taught me how to do it silently too, in case I was ever in a situation (read, the Hunger Games) when I needed to be quiet. I knew the vibrations of the sawing would irritate the tracker-jackers, but I prayed that most of them would stay out of it until the nest went crashing down to the ground.

I was about halfway through the branch when I got stung.

Immediately, I yanked the stinger out of my arm, but it was already swelling. I pushed on through the pain, but I got stung three more times before the weight of nest brought it down through the branches, smack into the middle of the Career camp.

It was chaos. The tracker-jackers were nothing more than a cloud of black, stinging and following the screaming Careers out of the clearing and through the trees. There were two cannons; two of them must have gotten stung too much to make it.

My vision started swimming. I tried to shimmy down the tree, but I misplaced my foot and fell all the way down to the ground.

I should have known better than to think I would fall all the way to the bottom. I was caught in strong arms, but the width of the biceps told me that it was Thresh, not Gale, who had caught me.

"Katniss? Katniss!"

Thresh shook me a little, but my head lazed on his shoulder. I tried desperately to move, let him know I was okay, but then I looked down at my hands and screamed.

Large insects of some kind were chewing through my flesh, and blood was already running down my arm. I could see glimpses of bones, could see my muscles and some snapped tendons. I clawed at them, trying to get them off.

"Katniss, Katniss, you're okay, stop scratching yourself!"

I turned my head, trying to see Gale because I heard his voice, I knew he was there, he couldn't be dead - but when I turned my head, I only saw him slumped against a tree, blood trickling from the deep cut on his neck.

I screamed more, fighting Thresh to try to get to Gale.

Thresh fought me, his strong arms curving around my torso to keep me from moving.

"I'm sorry that I have to do this Katniss."

There was a sharp pain on the back of my head and I went spiraling back into blissful blackness.

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**A/N: OMIGOD WE HIS 100 REVIEWS! Guys this is big! I am SO EXCITED! I tried to make this chapter long and action packed for you, did I succeed? I hope you guys keep up the great reviewing, it honestly made me so freaking happy! I start school soon, but I think I can get in two more weekly updates on Mondays because they're already typed, but just need to be padded with details and stuff. I love you ALL please keep reviewing and tell me what you think!**


	13. Chapter 13

_"I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me."_

_-David Levitah, _Will Grayson, Will Grayson

**Chapter Soundtrack: **Daniel In The Den - Bastille **&** Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star

* * *

I'd had some pretty intense nightmares in my life. I had seen my father blown up, and woken up screaming for him to run. I had seen Prim torn from my life and tortured in the Hunger Games, or worse, coming out and being empty and broken and my helpless to help. I had dreamed of Gale going into the mines and not coming out, of seeing my entire family being wiped out because of our hunting.

But these? These nightmares took the cake.

I _knew_ they were fake, that they were hallucinations. I _knew_ that I wasn't actually dying, but it felt like it.

I laid in the dark, seeing flashes of my past nightmares in my mind. I would feel my arms and legs being ripped away by muttations. I would see ooze spreading from my distorted body, see ants and insects of all kinds feasting on my innards.

I would try hard to scream, but something kept my jaw tight together.

So I gritted my teeth and fought through it.

oOoOoOoOoOo

When I finally came to - and not to nightmares, thank god - my head was on Thresh's leg, and his arm was around Rue. Gale was no where to be seen.

Immediately, I assumed the worst. I jackhammered into position, dizziness almost making me collapse back down. I struggled to my feet, my hands - covered in leaves - grasping at the ground to haul myself up.

"Katniss!"

Thresh jerked from where he was sitting with Rue. He reached out for my but I batted his hands away, my eyes searching around desperately.

"Gale…Gale I have to find Gale he was dead and he can't be dead he can't be dead he can't be - "

"Come on Catnip, I thought you had more faith in me?"

I whirled around and threw myself in his direction, complete trust in him to catch me.

Catch me he did. His arms wound tight around me, his teasing words covering up just how much he was worried. I clung to him, my face buried into his chest. The pounding of his heart underneath my ear was the best sound I had ever heard.

"Fucking hell Gale, don't scare me like that."

The fact that I cursed - something I rarely did, probably out of habit to keep Prim from hearing such words - obviously threw him, but he just jabbed right back, "I'm not the one that was unconscious for two and a half days. Seriously Catnip, don't do that to me."

All joking, soft tones aside, I knew he had the same deep fear that I did right now. I looked into his eyes and he just nodded back to me, his eyes bright with the tears he would never shed.

Rue threw herself into my arms when Gale released me, and I smiled down at her fluffy little head.

"Katniss, we were so worried! But you're okay now, right?"

I crouched down so she could hug me and put her head on my shoulder. I wrapped both of my arms around her gently, closing my eyes to savor the moment.

"Yeah Rue. I'm perfect now."

Thresh dropped a large hand down to my shoulders, and I loosened one hand free from Rue to squeeze it, my silent thanks enough for him.

When Rue calmed down enough to let me loose, we circled around the little camping area that we had been in apparently, while I was unconscious.

"We need a plan now."

"Who's out?" I asked, seated comfortably in-between Gale's legs, his back against a tree and my torso leaning against his chest.

"Two Careers were killed from the tracker-jackers. The girl from four and the girl from one. We are the only ones left that aren't Careers."

It was a sobering thought, but I pushed it away and turned to Thresh and Rue.

"How bad are they stung from the tracker-jackers?"

Rue pipped up, her little voice confused.

"Cato and Clove, the two tributes from District Two, were perfectly fine. They're back at the Cornucopia with the others, they're still out of it because they didn't think to take the stingers out."

I felt Gale's gaze, heavy on my back. I winced internally, knowing I was going to have to explain to him why I spared them. That was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to having.

"What we need is to take out their one, huge advantage," Gale said, his voice steady and calm.

"Which is?" Rue asked when he didn't elaborate.

"Their supplies from the Cornucopia. We know how to hunt, how to gather, and how to survive on less food. If we take out their supplies, how long will it be before their systems start feeling the toll of no food?"

Thresh's face broke into a slow, wide smile. It made me and Rue smile in return.

"Brilliant."

I leaned forward, clearing away some of the brush and started drawing in the dirt.

"Let's get planning then."

It was decided that a simple plan was the best kind of plan. We would split up; Gale and I would go to scout out the camp and see what the best way was to destroy the supplies and to see who was up for moving around and who would still be in the throes of the venom. Thresh and Rue were to go to three different places, all within about two miles of each other, and make huge piles of green wood, enough to make a lot of smoke and give the illusion of us trying to survive. It was a long shot, because the Career's knew that we weren't that stupid, but it might be enough to get them at least a couple miles away before we destroyed everything.

We would reconvene back together at the far side of the lake, near a collection of boulders that would shield us from anyone looking from the Career camp.

I pressed a kiss to Rue's forehead and hugged her tight. She had taught me a four note whistle in case we got held up, a small message to send through the mockingjays that seemed to be everywhere here.

Gale gave what Prim had dubbed a "man-hug" to Thresh, a clasping of their hands and then a pat on the back with their hands smushed between them. I hugged Thresh as well, whispering for him to be careful before I turned back to Gale, who was holding Rue tightly.

We split then with little to say.

Gale and I walked in silence born of our long hunting partnership. But since I could read his body was well as I could read my own, I knew he was tensed and upset. It was in the tension in his shoulders and the way his lips pressed into a tight line and the hidden hurt and pain in his eyes that stabbed me deep.

But we didn't talk. We just hurried quietly through the woods, stopping only to get a drink.

Suddenly, out of the blue, rain poured down on us. One second the sky was bright blue with the sun shinning down on us and the next it was gray and black and there was lightning and rain pouring, soaking us straight through.

Gale's hand wrapped around mine and we stumbled around until we came across a cave in the middle of another grouping of caves. We knew what was happening, that the Gamemakers and the Capitol wanted us to talk about what had happened. And in a way, I was grateful for this little chance. I needed to come clean to Gale, needed to tell him the truth.

We didn't talk as we stripped off our wet clothes and laid them flat in the vain hope that they would dry quickly. I had to forcibly turn away when I saw Gale's bare torso.

We both took out our sleeping bags and wrapped them around ourselves, and then sat down on either side of the cave so we would be facing each other. The cave was small enough that we would be less than a foot away from each other even as we leaned against the wall.

No words at first. We just sat there and stared at the rain falling, until Gale finally cracked and he whispered out, "You don't need to tell me…but I do want to know."

Translation: I am kind of pissed that you did what you did, and I'm so fucking confused at the same time.

I didn't say anything for a couple of minutes, but then I whispered back to him, keeping my eyes firmly on the outside of the cave.

"When I was six years old, I met a boy from the victory tour. I didn't know what the Hunger Games meant then, all I knew was that this strange boy was from somewhere else. We spent days together, and I even watched a moving picture with him in the train. I called him Toto…and he and I wanted to marry our siblings off to each other."

I turned to look at Gale now, trying to show him my sincerity and the emotions I couldn't bring myself to express to anyone but him.

"I was young. I forgot all about it until we came here and Cato came up to me. He…he still had the bracelets we made for each other, little leather things with the other's name and a small symbol on it. We only knew each other for a handful of days scattered across two years, and I forgot about him when my life got too tough to dwell on it. I never expected to have this all come to life. But Gale…I just couldn't kill him in cold blood. It might make me weak, but I don't want to be responsible for his death. And Clove…Clove had every opportunity to throw a knife into my head and be done with it. She and Cato are in something together, and I can't…I can't…"

I was running out of words. I had never done big declarations of feelings, I didn't know how to convey my reasoning and my guilt into words.

Like always, Gale didn't make me. He understood me on such a deep level it was almost like he could read my mind.

He reached out and cupped my cheeks in his hands and pulled me close to kiss me.

It had felt like forever since the last time we had been alone like this. I kissed him back, the sensations he awoke in me enough to drown out the guilt and the lingering fear of losing him that the tracker-jacker venom had instilled in me.

The kiss remained chaste, just the softness of our lips against the other, a quiet reassurance that we were still with each other.

When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. I smiled softly at him, even though he couldn't see me.

"When I saw you in Thresh's arm, limp and pale and covered in stings and your burn…I thought I was going to lose you. I thought that I had failed you."

Now that he mentioned it, my burn did flare up a little, but my time out and some herbs that Rue had put on it had made me feel better. I was digressing. I needed to focus.

I raised my hands up and cupped his face in mine. I pulled back and pressed a kiss to his forehead, lingering longer than necessary.

"I'm fine, I promise."

He pulled me into his arms and cuddled me closer, and I pressed myself into his chest and sighed as I heard his heartbeat under my ear.

"I remember the day I first saw you as something more than my best friend. We were at the Hot Old Barn -" I laughed a little at the alias we used for the Hob, "And Darius was teasing you for a kiss. And I found that I minded."

I remembered that night. I remembered Gale pressing a hand tighter to my back and leading me away, the tightness of his jaw and how he refused to tell me what was wrong.

He dropped his head to press a kiss in the hollow behind my ear, and then he whispered against the shell of my ear, so quietly that no Capitol camera would be able to hear, "I have always loved you. I will always love you."

I turned my head and captured his in a kiss, this one filled with warmth and muted passion and the comfort that came with knowing the person you loved, loved you back.

* * *

Sometimes, I wonder about God, a religious symbol that I never believed in.

And now I wonder if because I don't believe, he takes such great pleasure in screwing me over.

Our plan had been simple and easy. Set up, surveillance, plan again, and then execute. There was supposed to be no problems today, since we were doing nothing but the set-up and surveillance part of the plan.

The night with the rain had been let up, and Gale and I had received our first sponsor gift. A small tube of medicine for our burns and some of my stings, and a small tureen of soup and bread, still warm. Gale and I had split the food while we took turns bandaging each other up, stealing kisses all the while.

It had been a nice break, but now it was time to go back to reality. We needed to keep going with out plan, and we did when the rain broke.

After Gale and I had watched the Career camp - and seen how they had rigged everything to explode if someone didn't know about the land mines - we had found Rue and Thresh.

_Then_ everything went to hell.

Marvel, the tribute from District One, lunged out of the brush and tackled Rue to the ground, his arm curling around her torso to keep her arms pinned and his other hand held a sharp knife to her neck.

I had an arrow out and aimed at him, fury rippling through every part of my body.

The coward used Rue as a human shield between him and us. He knew we were on the same team, and he was going to play us.

"Go ahead, shoot me and she's dead too. Is that how you got the 11 Twelve? Here I was thinking that you had something underneath your clothes that made the Gamemakers like you."

I refused to rise to the taunt, but Gale's tense shoulders gave away he was pissed.

Rue's large eyes were watery, but the tears didn't fall. I was so proud of her, and I whispered out, "Rue, honey, don't worry, You're okay."

Marvel scoffed, his wild eyes meeting mine.

"Keep spouting those lies. You know as well as I do that there is only one winner. And it can't be her and your lover over there. You need to make the decision."

His hand tightened on the knife and mine tightened on my arrows.

"It's a pity Twelve. I would have loved to have sampled some of what he did. And I'm sure I could do it better."

Bile rose in my throat, but then everything happened at once.

Rue jerked the slightest bit to the left, making Marvel take his eyes off of us to look down at her and tighten his grip.

I took the chance and let the arrow fly, but before it hit Marvel in the throat, as it should have, a sword was thrust through his body, at an angle so that it entered through his back near the base of his spine and punctured out near his heart, a spray of blood spattering across Rue's face.

She screamed and dropped to the floor, her tiny hands scrambling to grab the knife in her boot.

Cato, the one who had held the sword that killed Marvel - killed his ally - ducked instinctively to avoid the arrow that was still spiraling through the air to burry itself in the eye of the tribute from District Three, the poor scrawny boy who had been standing just behind Cato.

Two cannons rang out almost on top of each other.

There was dead silence in the fallout, where Cato just stared at us, his hand still clenched on the bloody sword that was still buried in Marvel's chest.

I didn't take my eyes off of him as Rue scrambled to her feet and launched herself at me. I wrapped her tightly in my arms, not caring about the blood that had spattered on her rubbing off on me. The relief I felt at her being safe was overwhelming.

Cato turned to me, his eyes still hard.

I just raised my chin in his direction, a silent thanks.

Everyone stood there in the clearing for a little while longer, just staring. Thresh had a spear - when had he gotten that? - aimed at Cato, his body a little ahead of Rue and I as if to protect us. Gale's hands were filled with knives, but I knew he could throw them and then launch an arrow all within three seconds of the other.

Cato just nodded in my direction before backing out of the clearing, keeping us in sight until the forrest swallowed him and he was out of our sight.

We didn't linger. After reassuring myself that she was okay, Rue and I sprinted out of the clearing and Thresh and Gale were right behind us.

At night, when the pictures of the two dead had finished flashing through the sky, and we decided to stick together for one more night, Gale turned to me and gave me a small smile.

"I still think he's a sadistic bastard."

The statement had been so unexpected I laughed out loud, feeling lighter than I had ever imagined feeling.

But the games were ending soon, and we were running out of time and options.

* * *

**A/N: I hope this lives up to your expectation! We're ONE CHAPTER away from the BIG TWIST I had planned, and then we'll be on our way straight into AU world within Suzanne Collin's world! Guys, thank you so much for the reviews, they mean so much to me! Please keep them coming, and please excuse any errors or segmentally to this chapter, I just wanted to get it out! Please keep reviewing!**


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